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Thanks for all the encouraging replies everyone. I decided to just not let her get to me and just move on with my life. #18: I think that anyone who needs to put down others and rejecting them to get an ego boost in any situation is just not a person I would want to spend any amount of time with. #25: That is an awesome idea and I should have used it!

By progressiveboink - 11/05/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I took my lunch break to buy my mom a pretty orchid. I took it to her apartment (to which I have a key), placed it on her coffee table with her card, and went back to work, pleased with my surprise. She called me later to ask why I got her a stick in a pot of dirt. Her cat ate the orchid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 260

You deserved it 4 027

randomoutburst tells us more.

randomoutburst 0

Monday 11 May 2009 12:26

(This is my FML, made an account after the submission...) plethora, orchids run about $20-30 and the cat had eaten ALL of it. Not just the flowers...stem too. So I don't think it's going to grow back. Orchids are delicate. :)

By Catlover234 - 02/10/2015 19:08 - United States - Madison

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute after I got into the front seat of an elderly man's car. The man was my grandfather, and he was taking me to a doctor's appointment, since I wasn't going to be allowed to drive home after it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 964

You deserved it 2 164

Catlover234 tells us more.

Catlover234 4

Saturday 3 October 2015 7:20

Hi, OP here, I created an account to better explain what happened. This actually happened a few months ago. I was at the beach with some friends and didn't have the time to change out of my swimsuit when my grandpa showed up. We only took one car and the beach wasn't very far away from my grandparent's house, so my grandpa agreed to pick me up from the beach and take to my eye doctor appointment. I couldn't drive home because I was getting drops in my eyes. Some very loud girls in their late teens/early twenties saw me get in the passenger seat, pointed at me and said "She's a hooker!" loud enough for me to hear. My grandpa's hard of hearing, so he didn't hear it. I was dressed in my swimsuit like pretty much everyone else on the beach. Everything else was in my beach bag.

Whoops

By Anonymous - 28/09/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 760

You deserved it 36 086

By fuckyoudeadgunnuts - 04/09/2015 14:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 785

You deserved it 2 846

I like what you've done with the place

By Tyrez - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Boulder

Today, my stepbrother's attempt at making a snack resulted in the microwave catching on fire and the everlasting smell of burnt pizza rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 336

You deserved it 1 878

Snitches get bitches

By Innocent - 18/08/2016 23:03 - New Zealand

Today, someone drove into my car at an intersection and drove off. Luckily, I got the car's registration plate and called the cops on them. Turns out, it was my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend, who was illegally driving without a license. Now everyone's mad at me for getting her in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 752

You deserved it 1 241

By Anonymous - 06/03/2014 02:09 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 262

You deserved it 16 866

The mouthfeel

By rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 950

You deserved it 10 143

By Noah98 - 25/05/2016 18:53 - United States - Utica

Today, when I left for work at 7:00 am, my dad was playing Grand Theft Auto 5. When I got home at 3:30, he was still playing. I'm 18 years old. He's 45. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 499

You deserved it 1 280

Noah98 tells us more.

Noah98 20

Thursday 26 May 2016 17:40

Hi, OP here. Just to clarify, my dad works third shift so this was during his time off. I simply thought it was funny that the roles seemed reversed. He does work hard to provide for us.

By anon - 27/12/2013 06:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 021

You deserved it 3 532

By quietecho95 - 20/03/2015 15:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I got a call from the ICU. Apparently, my boyfriend has been there for 3 days and I'm the only person who didn't know. Even my parents have been to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 185

You deserved it 5 392

quietecho95 tells us more.

quietecho95 11

Saturday 21 March 2015 20:26

This is the OP. Actually I had a baby a few months ago with him. We don't live together and it's common for him to disappear for days at a time. He's okay. It was actually a suicide attempt and he's in a clinic now. We were texting but he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to freak out because this makes 6 attempts in a year. My parents didn't tell me because they were leaving town and knew there was no way I could take my infant into ICU.