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By worriedman - 03/07/2015 15:52 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend told me that once you love somebody you can never truly fall "out of love" with them. She wasn't talking about me, she was talking about her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 109

You deserved it 2 143

Book smarts

By Anonymous - 05/07/2016 16:19 - United States - South Sioux City

Today, my teacher marked a test question wrong, even though I was sure I got it right, so I went online to check. I found a government-approved website showing proof that my answer was correct. My teacher still counted it wrong, because, "We follow the book." That book's older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 875

You deserved it 897

Pissed

By Anonymous - 01/07/2016 22:35 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I saw my ex best friend and my cheating ex-girlfriend hanging out at the gym, where I work. They signed up here just to piss me off. It's working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 448

You deserved it 1 140

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 709

You deserved it 11 372

By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my wife got so drunk she kissed another guy when the ball dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 126

You deserved it 5 325

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 910

You deserved it 4 691

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 854

You deserved it 10 205

By x - 12/11/2012 02:16 - United States - Lake Placid

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 582

You deserved it 6 612

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 4 415

Chauffeur

By Etyl - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Indonesia

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 363

You deserved it 3 564

By Bob - 21/01/2010 13:33 - Canada

Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 904

You deserved it 2 755

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 843

You deserved it 7 675

By embarrassed - 19/12/2014 19:24 - United States

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 572

You deserved it 3 934

By Singleton - 02/01/2010 00:33 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 168

You deserved it 2 858

By Username - 06/11/2010 05:18 - France

Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 657

You deserved it 15 742

By RobotUnicorn1209 - 14/08/2015 19:31 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 603

You deserved it 2 722

By Anonymous - 13/09/2016 16:33 - United States - Orlando

Today, I eavesdropped as my friend tried hinting to my crush that I like him. He replied, "Haha, eww. She looks like a fuckin' garden gnome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 563

You deserved it 1 746

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me several flowers and chocolate boxes to my office. It ends up that he cheated on me with my sister and tried to break the news to me after all the presents he sent. I thought he actually remembered our anniversary this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 568

You deserved it 2 827

By Anon - 25/05/2015 01:14 - United States - Twinsburg

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 127

You deserved it 12 123

By Random737193 - 07/05/2015 19:52 - United States - Haddonfield

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 214

You deserved it 3 020

By Anomaly - 03/03/2015 02:43 - United States - Trenton

Today, I saw a person in my class completing a project that was due two periods later and that they had just started in the bathroom. They got a better grade than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 347

You deserved it 4 837

By Anonymous - 27/06/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I found out that a co-worker of mine that I had originally hired, trained, and mentored to work in my department for the past 4 years had just got the promotion that I had applied for. He is now my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 973

You deserved it 5 436

By Anonymous - 24/11/2014 18:47 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 834

You deserved it 3 867

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 02:13 - United States - Herndon

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 033

You deserved it 9 505

By dBLIZZARD - 05/11/2015 03:32 - United States

Today, my fiancée thought that lowering the volume on her phone would lower the amount of data being used by her streaming songs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 785

You deserved it 2 876

By SOILEDIT - 24/10/2015 03:03 - United States - Washington

Today, my bio teacher decided to put a plant in his classroom, and I'm allergic to it. Apparently, my hives and runny nose aren't enough to convince him to get rid of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 894

You deserved it 1 724

SOILEDIT tells us more.

SOILEDIT 51

Saturday 24 October 2015 21:27

I've talked to an administrator and they said they will do something about the situation, just to let you guys know.

By lolateverything - 17/07/2014 04:25 - United States - Paramus

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 341

You deserved it 10 392

lolateverything tells us more.

lolateverything 0

Friday 18 July 2014 21:12

Hahaha I'm the OP. The comments are hilarious! :) The post office mailbox and the library book drop aren't right next to each other. They are near each other, but far away enough to easily distinguish which one is which. One is blue and the other is grey, so my mistake is even more pathetic LOL.

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 850

You deserved it 70 618