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I babysat for her when she was 3-6 and it's been a long time, years. She looks incredibly different. She used to be blonde, for instance, and now has dark brown hair.

By DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE - 22/11/2012 21:03 - United States - Schertz

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 810

You deserved it 1 980

By MCKilllerrr - 18/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, the girl I really liked started talking to me, so I asked her out on a date. After waiting an hour at the theatre, I texted her asking where she was. She replied with, "Oh! You were serious about the date?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 804

You deserved it 3 527

By tallguy - 29/08/2013 13:40 - Australia - North Adelaide

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 605

You deserved it 4 398

By kevinfmls - 16/01/2016 03:27 - United States - Reston

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 161

You deserved it 1 509

kevinfmls tells us more.

kevinfmls 12

Wednesday 30 March 2016 19:23

I haven't seen this until almost 3 months later! Thanks for the support, turns out she was LYING about being married and just wanted to not work with me in the most obvious way.

By anonymous - 25/11/2015 02:59 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I learned that I cannot cook or clean in my kitchen because it's too noisy for my neighbour. Every time I do, she bangs on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 296

You deserved it 1 538

Smooth brainrot

By S3R1AL K1LL3R X - 19/10/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 418

You deserved it 4 518

Spotted

By papergirl - 24/04/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 288

You deserved it 19 636

By Anonymous - 01/06/2012 18:17 - United States - South Amboy

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 677

You deserved it 2 077

By Anonymous - 06/11/2009 03:29 - Australia

Today, a customer complimented me on how good I looked for my age. She thought I was in my forties. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 357

You deserved it 4 131

By It'd be nice to see you too. - 09/06/2014 02:17 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, at my all-night senior party, I was talking to the blind girl who I haven't had classes with since 9th grade. I unthinkingly opened the conversation with "Nice to see you again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 543

You deserved it 9 696

By stupidprankster - 09/03/2012 10:10 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 510

You deserved it 7 495

By dizzlewizzle - 06/03/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 179

You deserved it 11 825

By sparkyjaf - 14/05/2015 12:41 - Australia - West Pymble

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 936

You deserved it 4 198

By MM - 02/02/2012 14:50

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 192

You deserved it 3 672

By struckbystarzz - 27/03/2015 13:12 - United States - Taunton

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 559

You deserved it 4 090

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 034

You deserved it 4 313

By katt_is_here - 06/10/2013 05:51 - United States - Greeley

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 836

You deserved it 15 109

katt_is_here tells us more.

katt_is_here 24

Tuesday 8 October 2013 22:53

OP here! To answer some questions: 1) The bottle...well, it's pretty damn obvious what it is considering it has GIANT letters on it that say "Anti-Bacterial Toy Cleaner" next to a image of a girl dancing with a giant ***** like a stripper pole. If she did see it, it is more than obvious what it is used for. 2) Soap can damage some toys so it's better to get a cleaner specifically designed for the items you are cleaning. You wouldn't wash your windows with oven cleaner, for example. 3) I guess some people missed where I said "SURPRISE" visit. As in I wasn't expecting her. As in there is A LOT of things I would have done to prepare had I known she was coming. I'm not messy, but most people clean their place better when they are expecting company, no? 4) I pay my own bills. This apartment is no more hers than my toys are. Either way, I thought it was a funny and somewhat embarrassing story to share. Have a good one!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2016 06:58 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 921

You deserved it 3 147