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By anonymous - 06/08/2015 08:33 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 786

You deserved it 1 852

By Username - 09/08/2010 16:08 - France

Today, the sprinklers in the hotel room came on and stayed on. There was no fire. My family is currently living in the hotel, so everything we own is soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 2 915

By frenchfrypotater - 24/09/2009 23:50 - United States

Today, it was our wedding anniversary. My husband takes me and our young son to a family-style chain restaurant. Hoping for a little romance, I ask him what he's excited about in our future, and he says how we shouldn't eat out like this anymore so we can afford to pay our income taxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 638

You deserved it 4 286

Movie night

By uncomfortable - 12/03/2009 00:20 - Canada

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 426

You deserved it 5 617

By kohler9790 - 22/02/2012 01:29 - United States

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 615

You deserved it 3 388

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 078

You deserved it 49 623

By Anonymous - 04/03/2011 01:52 - United States

Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 727

You deserved it 63 680

Priorities

By phones - 16/01/2015 17:09 - United States

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 908

You deserved it 9 243

By Username - 11/01/2011 09:45

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 984

You deserved it 3 495

By thanks mom ¬_¬ - 24/08/2013 22:05 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, my mom visited my new apartment for the first time. I was showing her the bedroom, when she looked into my opened sock drawer and said, "Using Durex, eh? Yeah, you were born 'cause a Trojan split." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 726

You deserved it 4 746

By applesmama - 17/09/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 488

You deserved it 4 689

Almost there

By fucksake - 05/10/2014 15:55 - Malaysia - Seri Kembangan

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 357

You deserved it 4 687

By NoName - 03/12/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 676

You deserved it 19 132

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 13:38 - United States - Hudson Falls

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 652

You deserved it 2 249

By eminem blows cock - 15/06/2012 16:41 - Ireland - Kilflynn

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 306

You deserved it 9 758

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 930

You deserved it 9 078

Suggestions for you

By Anonymous - 24/04/2009 22:53 - United States

Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 918

You deserved it 9 078

By Lookalike - 12/05/2014 14:38 - United States - Nitro

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 500

You deserved it 5 519

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 163

You deserved it 3 341

By Noname - 17/03/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 247

You deserved it 62 651

Useless

By markyvilla - 15/04/2011 01:09 - United States

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 876

You deserved it 6 012

By dulllife - 08/12/2011 07:30 - United States

Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 557

You deserved it 4 620

By oneiPodlighter - 10/10/2013 03:03 - United States - Conshohocken

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 981

You deserved it 24 837

Oh dear, oh no

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 00:29 - United States - Wooster

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 884

You deserved it 1 948

By firstdate - 24/01/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 276

You deserved it 5 333

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 17:36 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 998

You deserved it 6 149

By jaleesadavis21 - 18/10/2011 13:25 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my older brother thought it would be funny to change the language on my phone to Serbo-Croatian. I don't know how and can't change it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 023

You deserved it 4 362

Stuart?

By Tea_baggins - 06/08/2013 04:01 - Australia - Rozelle

Today, I woke up at 6 a.m. and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 364

You deserved it 19 798

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 03:42 - United States

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 555

You deserved it 5 438

By Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 839

You deserved it 3 326

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The Top

Today, my sister officially has no boundaries, as she just had her ass crack waxed and wanted me to check to see they got all the hair. I’m a guy by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 175

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 870

You deserved it 6 926

Today, after waiting two weeks for an email with my online textbook access code, it still hadn't arrived in time for my quiz tomorrow, so I ended up spending most of my money on the expensive physical copy. Not long after I got back home, the email finally arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 221

You deserved it 5 043

Today, I once again got less than 20 hours of work for the entire week. My boss's solution? Double the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 75

Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 254

You deserved it 9 175

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 442