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Perhaps I should have made this a little more clear, but yes, I did get puked on. Unfortunately the woman behind me was in a seat which was higher than mine, and thanks to the laws of physics, that meant the vomit sailed nicely downwards and splashed onto the back of my head. She didn't aim into her lap. The guy next to her had the aisle seat, and he at least puked into his lap. One of the other three who puked was standing up in the aisle, and I'm pretty sure he splashed a few people. The other two were at the front of the bus. Basically, it was a Pukey Bus from hell. Getting off was maybe the happiest moment of my life.

By mvp - 26/07/2009 23:51 - United States

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 966

You deserved it 3 508

By RIP - 07/10/2012 18:34 - Finland - Espoo

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 706

You deserved it 1 838

Parasocial

By NotJessePinkmanFFS - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Norwalk

Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 120

You deserved it 2 379

By Anonymou$ - 06/11/2014 23:37 - United States - Daphne

Today, I spent over $2,000 on a big flatscreen TV. My dad insisted I let him mount it on the wall instead of paying someone to do it. All seemed fine, until the TV came loose and smashed onto the floor. My dad refuses to accept responsibility, and says I should've had a professional install it instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 067

You deserved it 7 814

Thanks, "Bro"

By probably on death row soon - 25/12/2015 18:32 - United States - Winter Park

Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 1 601

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 151

You deserved it 5 259

By amanderpthepanda - 03/07/2013 17:21 - United States - Redmond

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 404

You deserved it 4 224

amanderpthepanda tells us more.

amanderpthepanda 19

Thursday 4 July 2013 8:25

I created this account to respond to some of your comments.. My cousin is a boy, and it was a very awkward explanation. I just told him that it's a girl thing and that he'll learn about it when he's older. I don't think it affected him that much. Also, #7, I enjoyed your comment the most.

By Anonymous - 29/08/2014 16:16 - United States - Port Lavaca

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 218

You deserved it 3 973