The Top

Hey everyone! I loved reading your comments. The good, the bad, and even the ugly. Let me just clear up that it was my moms birthday, so I came down early to wake her up with breakfast. I wasn't coming down to listen like a pervert. I am very glad my parents are still fond of each other but I experienced just a tad too much of this fondness. I know realize that I could of walked back up and try not to squeak on the stairs, but come on. I wasn't really thinking at that point, mostly freaking out! Thanks everyone and no I didn't have my camera to save the picture as blackmail ;)

By AnnoyedByFriends - 08/08/2013 04:43

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 756

You deserved it 9 715

By Nick - 20/07/2013 19:37 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 249

You deserved it 5 121

By Jdub - 28/05/2009 00:51 - United States

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 323

You deserved it 3 618

By Anonymous - 26/08/2011 16:44 - United States

Today, not long after having had my college volleyball scholarship confirmed, I broke my ankle after stepping on and tripping over a toy my baby sister had left out. No scholarship and no college whatsoever now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 753

You deserved it 3 023

scooterr14 tells us more.

scooterr14 5

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:52

im OP.and the break was bad enough that the scholarship was revoked. im not gonna be able to play volleyball for a few years due to ligament damage. im an outside hitter and i wont be able to jump. i could switch to libero but i wouldnt even manage to red shirt. my grades are not high enough for academic entrance

By -1 friend - 17/05/2013 21:16 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 348

You deserved it 14 678

People like who?

By howembarrasing - 19/04/2009 20:49 - United States

Today, I went to the sandcastle contest at my local beach. While waiting in line for a hotdog, a man cut in front of me and demanded a cup of water. I called him a jackass, saying how people like him give us a bad reputation at the beach. I then saw him running to his choking daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 761

You deserved it 86 626

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:52 - United States

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 530

You deserved it 8 427

By panda - 03/03/2011 11:20

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 270

You deserved it 6 290

By cowgirl - 06/11/2012 05:42 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 476

You deserved it 3 699

By BasketGhost - 02/10/2013 06:36 - United States - Bronx

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 056

You deserved it 6 476

BasketGhost tells us more.

BasketGhost 17

Wednesday 2 October 2013 21:20

Hey! Just to start, my dog is absolutely fine. So, we think she may have stepped on the button to lower the window without us realizing before it was too late. No worries, though we were driving fairly slowly after just pulling out of the school parking lot. For anyone wondering the breed, she is a beagle!

By Limalia - 24/01/2011 21:00 - Switzerland

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 360

You deserved it 10 659