The Top

This was mine, just made this account to explain. I was walking home at about 2 in the morning from a night out, and these three guys just walked up demanding everything. I had been drinking so I wasn't going to say yes, and you know the rest. Thank God no one was there.

By Anonymous - 14/06/2014 21:32 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 738

You deserved it 25 392

By top dog! - 11/10/2011 20:05 - Australia

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 485

You deserved it 2 939

By Pita - 04/12/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 390

You deserved it 6 587

Read other books, FFS

By Anonymous - 20/07/2012 20:26 - Netherlands - Delft

Today, I had a job interview, for which I spent hours preparing. My interviewer was nothing more than a pimple-faced teen, and after only two minutes of reviewing my qualifications, he lost interest and started asking such questions as which Hogwarts house is my favorite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 953

You deserved it 3 191

By jisaac09 - 17/03/2013 05:05 - United States - Danville

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 016

You deserved it 8 125

jisaac09 tells us more.

jisaac09 25

Sunday 17 March 2013 16:45

"In there" as in in the same room. We just got done eating and I guess something didn't agree with her. I guess this beats the alternative (******** in the floor outside the bathroom). She was kind enough though to flush. I turned my head upside down and let the scolding hot water run into my nose. I feel clean.

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 671

You deserved it 8 347

By Groped - 02/04/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 811

You deserved it 5 276

By sadgf - 25/07/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home from being deployed for the past 3 months. As soon as he gets out of the car, he walks right past me and goes to hug his dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 855

You deserved it 8 885

By abnormallyadam - 09/02/2016 13:08 - Australia - Footscray

Today, I found out that the guy I've been crushing on for months is actually 15 years old. I'm 22. Not only is it gross, but it's also illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 961

You deserved it 4 831

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 136

You deserved it 36 251

By Natasha - 29/10/2015 08:58 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got so desperate for cash that I decided to start selling my used panties online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 804

You deserved it 7 289

Sorry sweaty

By boyfriendless - 10/04/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a five year-old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, and he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute… except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 906

You deserved it 6 213

By Nick - 20/03/2009 16:45 - United States

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life." She has had the same mullet haircut since '84. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 272

You deserved it 9 132

Busted

By katara - 02/07/2010 23:53 - United States

Today, I was relaxing on the couch after a long day with my annoying aunt when I heard my sister come in from the garage. I loudly asked, "Do you think Aunt Stacy knows everybody doesn't like her?" It wasn't my sister. It was my aunt returning my purse I had left in her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 015

You deserved it 57 546

By peacechick71 - 22/09/2013 23:30 - United States - Trenton

Today, my grandma threw away my clear retainer thinking it was plastic from packaging. She has done this three times now. They cost 300 dollars to replace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 7 938

peacechick71 tells us more.

peacechick71 8

Monday 23 September 2013 13:03

Hey guys OP here. To answer some questions, yes I have told my grandmother various times that I have a retainer, and that it looks like packaging and to not throw it away. I do keep it in a plastic case but I only wear it at night so when I am out shopping for her or walking her animals she snoops in my stuff. I have tried keeping it in my room to keep away from her but the door always "accidentally" opens and her animals find it and play with it because animals like the saliva taste on the retainer, it is then she thinks it's packaging and throws it away.