Spicy

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, I woke up and my date I'd had the best sex ever with last night had found the sex doll I hid in a cupboard. She'd left a note calling me a creep, and to lose her number. It was a prop for my brother's stag do last week, I’ve never had sex with it, I’m just waiting for the recycling bins on Friday. FML

agreeclassic 1 695

vote type 1 425

TMI, DUDE!

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 10:00

Spicy

Today, it might be the day I ask my wife to peg me. Hope it goes well. FML

agreeclassic 376

vote type 1 1 290

It's not you, it's me

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 22:00

Spicy

Today, after my wife had been bleeding when we have sex, the doctors sent her to hospital. While she was there overnight, I decided to masturbate at home. Turns out it was me. I have blood in my semen and was shooting it into her during sex. Glad she’s OK, but what the hell is wrong with my balls? FML

agreeclassic 1 392

vote type 1 180

No no fap season

By WhatTheactual - 15/10/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, I had a very hot sex dream about my female coworker. It was so good I woke up practically rock hard, jerked off, and had an amazing orgasm. There’s just one problem: I’m a gay guy, in a committed relationship. FML

agreeclassic 1 485

vote type 1 673

No fun

By Blueballzwill - 14/10/2022 02:00

Spicy

Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML

agreeclassic 1 944

vote type 1 550

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 16:00 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Spicy

Today I discovered the hard way that you can rip your own butthole. Not from having sex though, I ripped my own butt because I was constipated. FML

agreeclassic 1 305

vote type 1 160

Huge fan

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Acworth

Spicy

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair in a way that it looks like Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

agreeclassic 67 910

vote type 1 10 448

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 10/10/2022 18:30 - Turkey

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

agreeclassic 1 537

vote type 1 509

Rookie mistake

By dreamisugly - 10/10/2022 11:00

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML

agreeclassic 430

vote type 1 2 291

Single and ready to Pringle

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 00:00

Spicy

Today, I realized that the guy I lost my virginity to only slept with me for a bet. He confessed and apologized. He truly looked like he regretted it, so I forgave him and we hooked up again. Turns out this was a bet too. The worst part? I would do it again, because I'm really that lonely. FML

agreeclassic 1 889

vote type 1 884

You sure you wanna do this?

By Anonymous - 08/10/2022 09:30

Spicy

Today, my husband finally was ready to have sex, even though he feels it's a bit weird because I'm pregnant. Due to morning sickness, I threw up all over him. FML

agreeclassic 1 424

vote type 1 300

The prick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2022 17:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me to deep throat him and I had to tell him he isn’t long enough to reach my throat. It just about reaches the back of my tongue, but that’s it. He’s now sulking. I can’t change the length of his prick. FML

agreeclassic 2 513

vote type 1 625

****** around, found out

By Single4evaaaa - 07/10/2022 13:00

Spicy

Today, the woman that I left my wife for told me she just wanted me for sex and not a long-term relationship. I pleaded on my knees to my wife to take me back and rekindle our marriage and even suggested counseling. I even brought her roses. She slapped me with the roses and slammed the door in my face. FML

agreeclassic 248

vote type 1 10 328

Thank you for being there for me

By myboyfriendisweird - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years-old. FML

agreeclassic 32 015

vote type 1 7 050

The book of revelations

By MiraR - 06/10/2022 18:30

Spicy

Today, I lost my diary. The diary in which I write all my appointments/chores/grocery lists, etc. It includes "Wash last week's underwear", "Batteries for vibrator" and "Diarrhea meds". I'm 99% sure I lost it in one of my classes. I'm dreading going to college tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 1 193

vote type 1 428

Sweet side hustle

By J…… - 05/10/2022 13:00

Spicy

Today, I found out my baby daddy is queerbaiting on OnlyFans. Somehow he still can't be bothered to pay child support. FML

agreeclassic 1 157

vote type 1 378

Mah baws

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 23:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend's favourite thing to do when upset is lie next to me and play with my balls. She says it’s a comfort thing, like my sack is her emotional support toy. It’s a total pain, when she’s upset it’s lie down and balls out, but she never touches my penis, despite it making me horny. FML

agreeclassic 1 806

vote type 1 479

Big boy

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 08:30

Spicy

Today, I’m bisexual and recently got into talking with a man after dumping my girlfriend. I had a “craving” for a man and when I went to fulfill my needs, it wasn't even two inches long. FML

agreeclassic 725

vote type 1 1 371

Canvassing

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 22:30 - Czech Republic - Mesice

Spicy

Today, I was alone at home. It was a boring day, so I just masturbated. Then someone rang the bell. Police and reporters were waiting for me at the door. There was a triple homicide and a suicide next door. FML

agreeclassic 1 497

vote type 1 214

Fast and furious

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 10:00

Spicy

Today, I once again had to apologise to a date for cumming too fast as they stormed out the door angry at me. I don’t get it, I’m in shape, I don’t watch porn, and I’ve even had therapy, so why can’t I last longer than 15 seconds before busting my load like an inexperienced teen? FML

agreeclassic 2 463

vote type 1 532

Pissed off

By Pissed - 29/09/2022 00:01

Spicy

Today, I found out a recent hook-up, who’d pounded the fuck out of me until I came all over didn’t get uncomfortable and ghost me “because he was just a fuck boy.” It was probably because a noticeable, large part of the sweat/squirt spot on my bed after, was actually my own piss, I just didn’t smell it. FML

agreeclassic 1 213

vote type 1 1 341

Rubbing it in

By GET A ROOM - 26/09/2022 04:30

Spicy

Today, I heard the very loud buzzing of a fly nearby, and I felt a tingly sensation on my arm. I thought there was a fly on my arm; I was half-right. There were, in fact, two flies having sex on my arm. That's something I will never unsee. FML

agreeclassic 1 100

vote type 1 271

The state of sex ed…

By UnhappyGrandmama - 22/09/2022 23:00

Spicy

Today, my 17 year-old daughter texted me, “Mom I’m pregnat” Yes, exactly how you see it spelled. She’s a senior in high school. Oh, and she doesn’t know who the father is. FML

agreeclassic 1 465

vote type 1 442

Talk tonight

By Anonymous - 22/09/2022 15:30 - South Africa - Bryanston

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the second time. He's really nice, but he's terrible in bed. He busted a nut 3 times before I could orgasm once, and he can't finger to make up for it. His foreplay is trash. I'm starting to lose feelings for him because of the lack of sexual satisfaction. FML

agreeclassic 2 032

vote type 1 889

Inappropriate

By elcee1987 - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I took my niece to the zoo. She was crying so I pointed out the chimpanzee to distract her. At the same time, he sat down and began to jack off. Now my niece won't stop making the same hand gesture. FML

agreeclassic 25 926

vote type 1 2 491

The inner light

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Spicy

Today, I asked my husband if we could rekindle some of our old intimacy, get back in touch with each other’s inner selves, that sort of thing. He looked confused, then got a big smile and said, “You mean we can do anal again? Why didn’t you just say so?” FML

agreeclassic 1 508

vote type 1 635

Whatcha hiding?

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 09:50

Spicy

Today, I was sent to the counsellor, who had already informed the cops, because I refused to take off my wristbands. They thought I had cut my wrists. I was trying to hide handcuff marks from kinky sex, and had to explain it to the cops, counsellor, college professors and two of my classmates. FML

agreeclassic 2 234

vote type 1 602

MiraR app_comment_confession_title

MiraR 15

Wednesday 21 September 2022 9:35

Hey everyone! OP here. Just registered my account.Thank you so much for your comments.. Yes I know it's good that they care... but it also was quite embarassing... As to better handcuffs, I've learnt my lesson.. No more cheap deals from ebay!

Yeeted it

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 02:30 - Canada - Brampton

Spicy

Today, two weeks after my wife of 3 years caught me screwing her sister in our bed, and she disappeared to her mom’s and refused to take my calls, she came home to get her stuff. Apparently on the night I cheated, she was about to tell me she was 6 weeks pregnant with my baby. She left for the two weeks to get an abortion. FML

agreeclassic 206

vote type 1 4 575

Temptation

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 15:00

Spicy

Today, a woman I work with asked me out. She is smart, funny, beyond gorgeous, and I’d be a fool to say no. Unfortunately, she has done jail time for smashing her last boyfriend's penis with a bat and he lost a testicle. What do I do? FML

agreeclassic 1 461

vote type 1 323

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2022 16:30

Spicy

Today, in a holiday cottage, I was a little horny so I decided to watch some porn. An hour later, the owner barged in, screaming that I was not to use her internet for such things, that I’m a "loose slut" and that I'm "going to hell". The bitch must somehow have been illegally spying on my internet usage. FML

agreeclassic 1 742

vote type 1 311

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my credit card got blocked. Apparently, my bank thinks buying a $130 flat iron online is suspicious. FML

agreeclassic 28 808

vote type 1 6 017

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

agreeclassic 320

vote type 1 177

Today, I did the math: I have suffered from crippling depression for a third of my entire existence. FML

agreeclassic 441

vote type 1 119

Today, I have a new guitar on its way. I forgot to make up a story, so now my wife won't be happy. FML

agreeclassic 170

vote type 1 1 629

Today, I found out that the only reason my ex husband calls my son anymore, is to ask him to send him things on Facebook. FML

agreeclassic 27 519

vote type 1 2 532

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

agreeclassic 41 690

vote type 1 13 503