When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 281 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, my coworker told me she knew about my secret boyfriend because she has a "sixth sense" about these things. I'm too embarrassed to tell her I'm desperately single and the last date I went on was three years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 486 You deserved it 4 056
Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 435 You deserved it 83
Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Café. There was no parking and I hate having to pay $12 for valet parking. I parked at Walgreens across the street in the only spot without a "Patrons only, violators will be towed" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 696 You deserved it 44 358
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 666 You deserved it 2 344
Today, I spent $50 buying flea bombs so not only my dogs, but my son could relax a little in my home instead of fighting off those tiny little circus bastards. Today, I got in my car and the fleas attacked me mercilessly until I got to work. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 673 You deserved it 437
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML I agree, your life sucks 80 037 You deserved it 6 025
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋