Today, on an overnight flight, I fell asleep on the very attractive...

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By Slobbybeast - 25/11/2018 06:31

Today, on an overnight flight, I fell asleep on the very attractive gentlemen sitting next to me. Not only did I snore, but I drooled on him. He asked me if I had any diseases. FML

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interesting33 36

Tuesday 27 November 2018 22:32

Did you tell him you were a Pokémon master and had 'caught them all's. including The Love Bug

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interesting33 36

Tuesday 27 November 2018 22:32

Did you tell him you were a Pokémon master and had 'caught them all's. including The Love Bug

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

agreeclassic 46 420

vote type 1 3 457

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

agreeclassic 6 523

vote type 1 56 720

Today, since it's company policy, I had to go to the back of my small store to retrieve an item for a customer, even though I was working by myself. I came back to find that since she couldn't get into the cash register, she found and stole my purse instead. FML

agreeclassic 33 439

vote type 1 3 433

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

agreeclassic 84 688

vote type 1 599 821

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

agreeclassic 22 638

vote type 1 52 727

Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML

agreeclassic 58 902

vote type 1 3 047