Intimacy: Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating.... - FML

By camp - 03/03/2009 22:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

agreeclassic 81 137

vote type 1 27 634

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By laughingflame - 04/08/2011 06:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

agreeclassic 38 185

vote type 1 12 930

Cast the first stone

By Anonymous - 23/05/2013 17:48 - Romania - Buzau

Spicy

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

agreeclassic 46 690

vote type 1 3 458

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

agreeclassic 23 806

vote type 1 5 880

By ygma - 01/12/2015 16:39 - United States - Mansfield

Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML

agreeclassic 26 459

vote type 1 2 766

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

agreeclassic 20 351

vote type 1 36 322

By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML

agreeclassic 39 055

vote type 1 8 986

Hypocrite much?

By sonofahypocriticalwhore - 07/12/2012 17:06 - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML

agreeclassic 40 629

vote type 1 2 300

By Anonymous - 03/10/2013 05:24 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML

agreeclassic 38 666

vote type 1 5 610

Creepy

By Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet - 26/09/2015 01:10 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

agreeclassic 34 656

vote type 1 2 245

No fun allowed

By but cum to think of it... - 03/07/2015 21:29

Spicy

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

agreeclassic 32 401

vote type 1 2 300

Next

TOP COMMENTS

BeautyAndBrains 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:39

Has anyone heard of KNOCKING anymore? My gosh, she should have at least given you some warning before just barging in on you.

neonoodle 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:42

What a sad life she must have led if she's never masturbated.

Comments

egaonogenki 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 18:46

Look on the bright side - you can find a hot chic there, but you may have a harder time convincing her to go to bed with you since religious people can try harder to wait 'til marriage

lamarr 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 20:11

YOU ARE DARK SIDED!!!!! GARGOYLES!!!! YOU MUST BECOME A GOD WARRIOR IN JESUS' NAME I PRAY.

ghostmountain 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 20:39

You should tell her you were just taking after jesus.

Pudgygrunt 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 21:40

#34 ftw xD but #31 is a heartless assuming bitch ;D btw. at that point I'd tell her **** you!, and no, im not possessed by a demon, and no, neither is my penis

lollipop217 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 22:24

lock the door next time

sergeman 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 23:37

lots of ass to be gotten in bible camp

Sean123 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:05

first of all #1 is on some serious drugs and wat were u doing masturbating with ur grandma home with the door unlocked A DUH

OhNoImRuined 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:05

SINNER!

EatMeWhileImHot 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:16

Dude that SUCKS! I would like run away.

abbottizer 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 3:00

that's what you get for masturbating, pervert

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

agreeclassic 30 510

vote type 1 6 833

Today, I learned why you should never to use Sean Connery's voice when asking your girlfriend to sit on your face. FML

agreeclassic 749

vote type 1 2 019

Today, I tried to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I ended up smacking the back of my head against a brick wall. FML

agreeclassic 41 982

vote type 1 16 293

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

agreeclassic 12 691

vote type 1 44 276

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML

agreeclassic 22 910

vote type 1 2 912

Today, my sister ended punching my mother in the face. Blood just leaked everywhere and everything just went downhill. I'm so scared and traumatized from witnessing it. I can’t get the scene out of my head, can’t fall asleep, can’t stop crying, want to puke, want to yell. I just can’t anymore. FML

agreeclassic 971

vote type 1 306