Love: Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing....

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

agreeclassic 47 153

vote type 1 3 076

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Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

agreeclassic 43 459

vote type 1 4 068

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

agreeclassic 32 832

vote type 1 3 074

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

agreeclassic 35 087

vote type 1 3 914

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

agreeclassic 53 262

vote type 1 3 812

By Anonymous - 06/02/2018 19:00

Today, my best friend of 12 years traveled cross country to help me recover from major surgery. I've been sitting in the hospital by myself while she has sex in my empty apartment with some guy she met. FML

agreeclassic 5 675

vote type 1 497

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

agreeclassic 15 795

vote type 1 1 186

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

agreeclassic 6 665

vote type 1 901

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

agreeclassic 31 546

vote type 1 2 904

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

agreeclassic 62 075

vote type 1 7 519

By FFFFF- - 02/03/2011 17:12 - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML

agreeclassic 57 139

vote type 1 5 196

sobstory10000 17

Friday 23 January 2015 19:16

It's now time to tear up that relationship with both of them

Morning_fml 22

Friday 23 January 2015 19:16

I'm going to say what everyone's going to say: dump that disloyal bitch and find a new best friend.

Comments

baxwar 15

Friday 23 January 2015 23:12

I hope her asshole stays torn Like once the doctors hear the story they'll be like ha lime juice and razors

Charles900 16

Friday 23 January 2015 23:13

Now that's what I kill karma.

poirot_fml 13

Friday 23 January 2015 23:24

Sometimes I've a hard time believing some stories in this app ! Sorry for you op .

dawood_k 27

Friday 23 January 2015 23:33

What an asshole

daribubbles 10

Friday 23 January 2015 23:37

So much for "ripping her a new asshole", your friend beat you to it

mmazzaa 16

Friday 23 January 2015 23:48

What an ass

Andrew863 12

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:16

SDI

Miscellanonymous 8

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:44

karma showed up early!

WitEluded 13

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:47

Step 1: Call the hospital and cancel her meal service Step 2: Order Taco Bell to her room 3 times a day

IvyRizzzzoli 25

Saturday 24 January 2015 0:50

Well, your girlfriend is a ***** and you're friend is a asshole....cant get alot worse then getting cheated and losing a friend...sorry op :/

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML

agreeclassic 8 303

vote type 1 54 573

Today, I was so distraught during my mother’s funeral that I hadn’t been paying attention to anything around me. At some point, my kids changed my ringtone to “Ding dong the witch is dead” and turned my phone to full volume. They called while I was doing her eulogy. FML

agreeclassic 602

vote type 1 114

Today, I’ve been battling an aggressive form of cancer for the past 3 years. Due to the financial strain, I started a GoFundMe. I’m grateful for what I got, but a friend also started one for her dog’s surgery and got thousands of dollars. Guess the dog is more important than my kids having a mom. FML

agreeclassic 1 209

vote type 1 216

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

agreeclassic 44 407

vote type 1 4 493

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

agreeclassic 29 402

vote type 1 3 205

Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only happen in the movies: if you slam the door, all the snow of the roof will fall on your head. FML

agreeclassic 569