Animals: Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old...

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 16:51 - Canada - Galt

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

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vote type 1 5 445

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By What? - 22/01/2013 19:00 - Australia

Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

agreeclassic 31 670

vote type 1 4 116

By Anonymous - 14/06/2014 06:42 - Canada - Regina

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

agreeclassic 49 527

vote type 1 7 065

By Anon - 23/05/2016 10:49 - United States - Lansing

Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML

agreeclassic 16 239

vote type 1 1 262

By Anonymous - 28/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Troy

Today, my parents finally fulfilled my wish of a pet that I could take care of for a few years. They got a parrot. I guess 75 years or more is a few years to my parents. FML

agreeclassic 5 860

vote type 1 1 353

By Ketchup - 22/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

agreeclassic 22 798

vote type 1 49 915

By Wenny - 18/01/2009 12:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

agreeclassic 49 446

vote type 1 2 982

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By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

agreeclassic 26 496

vote type 1 3 821

By Blah - 02/08/2018 05:00

Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML

agreeclassic 3 569

vote type 1 273

By Anonymous - 22/08/2013 04:48 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years-old. FML

agreeclassic 59 105

vote type 1 3 807

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By Jpaylay - 12/08/2021 14:00 - United States - Lakeland

Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML

agreeclassic 314

vote type 1 808

Welshite 39

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:05

Polly want uhh...breast milk?

Llamassss 21

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:05

I would imagine that would be pretty painful.

Comments

randybryant799 20

Sunday 5 December 2021 20:34

I'm sorry but if at 22 he's that damn stupid you need to dump him. That's absurd.

wrenavery90 12

Sunday 10 July 2022 8:29

You dating a complete imbicile.

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Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

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Today, after I'd offered to make suggestions to my partner after she finished writing an essay for her college class, and she'd read my suggestions, we argued about every single point I wrote down. Despite telling her she didn't have to take any suggestions we argued for 2 days about it. The professor had the same notes as mine. FML

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vote type 1 149

Today, I once again have to attend a family gathering and never hear the end of, “Julie, you’re 33 and you still haven’t found a man?” What they don’t understand is that every time I pour my heart out to a guy, I always get the ladder kicked out from under me. As a result, I can’t get close to anyone anymore. FML

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Today, I returned from a job abroad and saw my twin brother for the first time in six months. He greeted me with words of true brotherly love: "You've fattened up a bit." FML

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vote type 1 631

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter to the dentist for her first check-up. We were at the front desk when she tripped, fell and chipped her front tooth on the marble floor. FML

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