Intimacy Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie....

Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

Sick burn

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

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Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

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burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

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Sexy time

Msmerfner - 03/08/2013 08:40 - United States - Hemet

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

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StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

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We'll just order out

Lili - 22/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML

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Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

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Cook out

Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

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You tried!

Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

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Skin deep

EffinAhole - 03/10/2010 04:27 - France

Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

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6daysoverdue 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 12:12

HOT

24788 6

Tuesday 14 July 2009 12:48

Cook and lingerine?! Those two words together in the same sentence? He had it made until then. Now all he'll be seeing is the dark walls of his doghouse. FHL

Eelusive 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 15:32

I hope that thing is lasered smooth if it's gonna be near the food. But good for you for trying to be sexy.

dickgriffiths 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 15:40

i burnt my boobs on hot water a while ago...i feel your pain. and bras hurt like hell. good luck

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:00

boredworker likes to talk in third person, and it's starting to irk Susan. OP: Uhm. That was smaaaaaaart. oh, and guys ;; aprons wouldn't help much. liquids can burn through clothes..

EffYoLife 14

Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:11

what a dumbass! who scares someone while theyre cooking?! thats dangerous

ehon82 3

Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:29

FYL Dump the ******, I would never scare a woman in lingerie cooking for me.

nick17 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:31

Ahahaha

p00p0ster0us 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:54

And I'll bet he thought it'd be hilarious, right up until the noise was coming out of his mouth...and while he was saying "AAAAAHHHH" or "BOOOOO" he was thinking "Oh SHIT THIS IS GOING TO GO ALL WRONG IN ABOUT 0.2 SECONDS"