Miscellaneous Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's...

kingmetal42 - 09/02/2010 19:10 - France

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Hi how are you?

KereKris - 17/06/2020 14:05

Today, I texted my boss, "I'm looking forward to doing you" instead of, "I'm looking forward to seeing you" thanks to a very unfortunate combination of my atrocious typing skills on a smartphone and an overzealous autocorrect function. FML

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Just ignore it!

nothing like tasty asshole - 26/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML

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in big trouble - 23/08/2014 12:28 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

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LOL

iPhonekid - 27/05/2012 07:19 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back, saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

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Nice try

Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

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nolife - 30/08/2012 01:33 - United States - Richmond

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

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kb - 10/01/2015 14:35 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I accidentally sent my teacher a picture of me in my boyfriend's boxers instead of my essay. FML

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Slipping up

englishfail - - United States

Today, I was teaching a class when a student pointed out that I'd used the wrong "your/you're" while writing on the board. FML

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Been there, done that

randomgirl - - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe." FML

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Dave - 19/12/2018 18:00

Today, I said to a girl that I recently started dating, ‘I like you so far’. My phone had other plans and decide to autocorrect far to fat as I hit send. FML.

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youdidwhatnow 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 1:04

Lmfao. Maybe she can join?

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Wednesday 10 February 2010 1:06

Why would you text someone telling them you'll kick your professor's ass, anyways? Licking sounds much more erotic :)

bigace 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:44

lameo

motheroffuck 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 7:49

why didn't you just text back and say something like "i meant kick, damn auto correction" it's not that hard... -.-

null_fml 11

Wednesday 10 February 2010 8:08

Going to kick your professor's ass? Wow... had no idea the "internet tough guy" thing goes for phones too.

misskas17 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 8:23

ydi for not checking what you said before sending

stereotype_eater 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 8:41

ydi for trying to be a badass and failing.

karamelkream 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:29

I'm pretty sure subconsciously that is what you want to do. lol

ohSNAPyall 26

Wednesday 10 February 2010 9:49

Taking kissing ass to a new level, eh?

rmlred 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 10:28

My phone auto corrects **** to duck... Example: I'm going to duck you up.

Kaizoku_fml 6

Wednesday 10 February 2010 12:10

Why would you be kicking your professor's ass anyway? Personally I prefer erotica to violence.

Motocross363 0

Wednesday 10 February 2010 14:02

Why were u going to kick your bosses ass ??

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

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Today, my anxiety has been so bad, I have had vivid dreams of my boyfriend of 6 months cheating on me. This is not the first time these dreams have happened, and I know for a fact he is not cheating. My anxiety is going to turn me into the crazy girlfriend from hell. FML

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Today, a few few friends, along with my long-time crush of mine came over to my house so we could finish a school project. As soon as he stepped into my house, he went pale, turned heel, and refused to step foot in my house. Why? Because the bison taxidermy above my fireplace scares him. FML

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Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

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Today, I learned that when blender jars aren't locked, they fly off the blender, into the air, hit you in the head and explode all over your kitchen. Today, I also learned that after I'm attacked by a flying blender, the first thing my boyfriend asks is if I'm still gonna make him a smoothie. FML

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Today, I'm exhausted. My antidepressants ran out, making me overreact to everything. My friends dragged me into really childish drama, resulting in me ditching them. Then my work laptop broke on the most important day of my project. Then I got my first break from work in about a year… and woke up with COVID. FML

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