Animals Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with... - FML

bored2death - 23/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I realized that the only one willing to hang out with me this summer is my guinea pig. FML

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Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! …

HelpMe - 25/02/2014 09:59 - United Kingdom - Galashiels

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

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Beeisc00l - 05/10/2011 18:58 - Reserved

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

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pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

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Anonymous - 21/02/2016 21:48 - United States - Merrimack

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

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What a cozy moment

ratfaced - 12/10/2017 07:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

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animallover - 26/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

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Anonymous - 02/12/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

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LG - 17/03/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

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Anonymous - 19/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

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Anonymous - 03/09/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

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justsayfuck 5

Saturday 24 July 2010 1:58

You liar! You forced him :o

ibmike22 13

Saturday 24 July 2010 2:01

i wish i had a guinea pig:( oh well, the only friend i need is my fridge

nxlcorey 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:16

what's wrong with dogs as it pick

randomlettrrs 8

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:22

33 whats up?

waltjrimmer 6

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:27

You're lucky. You at least have the hamster to keep you company. I just have... a useless computer. You smug son of a ferret....

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Saturday 24 July 2010 19:47

Ferrets are awesome. OP, my ferrets will kick your guinea pig's ass!

gypsyblue 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:34

What's with all these FMLs with the "Today I realized I'm so lonely" formula? It's getting really, really, really old. Of course you're lonely, you're on FML. So spare the details.

imhowie 2

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:36

And the guinea pig probably only does because it doesn't know any different.

isteadymob 4

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:49

it doesn't want to hang out with it's stuck in it's cage in your room

That_Guy_Jake_JR 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:51

I'll chill with you OP, I have no friends either :(

saucey12 1

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:52

r u sure... the guinea pig unfortunately doesn't have a choice. unless you leave the cage door open then you will really know the truth

FYL_hardd 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:53

36 - No, it is not "dog racism". I wouldn't know how the company is with two big dogs, or two small dogs because as I specifically indicated, I have ONE BIG dog, and ONE SMALL dog. Geez, people that pick fights for stupidity these days.

lotsologan 2

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:56

haha oh how I love people with no lives. reminds me of myself a few summers ago...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

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Today, at the register, I got a spontaneous nose bleed. The lady behind the counter apparently didn't do well with blood. Her face turned white, she passed out and fell with her head on the counter. FML

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Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

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Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML

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Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

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Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

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