Love: Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 55 953

vote type 1 6 682

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By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

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By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

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By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, due to nervousness, I threw up while proposing to my girlfriend. FML

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By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

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By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 03:00

Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

illmatic2 16

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:26

Too much tongue?

Crowcaller 5

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:23

yummy

Comments

lbkingjames_23 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 9:40

lmao that's baddd

compliments 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 19:11

ewwww

vespr 0

Friday 20 August 2010 4:53

that's what she said!!

2kool4skoolyo 0

Friday 20 August 2010 5:43

228 the same reason why why legonut, soviet Russia, skroll, and trollzfortheluz are here to make useless and retarded comments to be hated by all. good day air

VittiChan 2

Saturday 21 August 2010 14:49

62, that's exactly what I was thinking 2 :P

MissSunshine90 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 22:23

she threw up in your mouth bc you got her drunk. you deserve it

dude1122332 9

Monday 23 August 2010 17:33

hot... lmao!

AbbyLOVE 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 0:44

I can imagine "today my bf kissed me nd I threw out in his mouth, I can't face him anymore FML" lol

omgwtf99 13

Sunday 19 September 2010 17:38

ewwww poor u lol. was ur gf alright? she could've had a stomach bug or somthin

Justine94_x 31

Thursday 17 March 2011 23:46

Ewwwww. That's so disgusting...

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Today, I went to a doctor's appointment, being concerned about some abnormal swelling and soreness in one of my testicles. They fondled my balls for 20 seconds before saying, "Yeah, that's abnormal. You should probably go get an ultrasound somewhere and maybe take some ibuprofen for the pain. That'll be $265." FML

agreeclassic 1 003

vote type 1 106

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan, so I got her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

agreeclassic 1 264

vote type 1 2 987

Today, I got in trouble with my boss for not showing up to work yesterday. It seems going into anaphylactic shock isn't a valid excuse. FML

agreeclassic 22 422

vote type 1 1 357

Today, my friend went to jail after shoplifting over 2000$ worth of Apple Pay cards for her online boyfriend. We have all told her it's a scam and she is facing five years in prison. She won't listen to anyone and won't believe he's a con artist. FML

agreeclassic 441

vote type 1 109

Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML

agreeclassic 7 232

vote type 1 30 756

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Her six year-old likes me more than her. I hate kids. I stayed with her in spite of her son, because I love her. For some reason she thought I was going to leave her and take her kid with me, so she broke up with me first. FML

agreeclassic 1 141

vote type 1 297