Miscellaneous: Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After...

By aelia_oups - 31/12/2012 22:09 - France - Taverny

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

agreeclassic 52 353

vote type 1 7 542

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

agreeclassic 34 459

vote type 1 3 397

Pudding?

By Cake - 12/01/2023 14:00

Today, my mom made my favorite dessert, a pudding. For some reason, she decided to put strawberries in it. She knows I’m allergic to strawberries. She said, “Stop bitching. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it then. Problem solved.” FML

agreeclassic 916

vote type 1 158

All over cheese?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 01:00 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML

agreeclassic 1 186

vote type 1 109

By Anonymous Cunt - 24/11/2012 19:38 - Netherlands - Blaricum

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

agreeclassic 16 027

vote type 1 17 632

By dusk - 05/01/2012 08:09 - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

agreeclassic 37 116

vote type 1 4 308

Juicy

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 18:00

Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML

agreeclassic 986

vote type 1 148

By Elisa_LmR - 03/01/2014 23:28 - France

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

agreeclassic 46 566

vote type 1 8 638

Man vs. Wild

By Marjo86 - 27/09/2019 20:00

Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML

agreeclassic 2 016

vote type 1 115

Call CPS!

By leovaldez - 22/06/2020 20:08

Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML

agreeclassic 1 839

vote type 1 127

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 21:40 - United States - Blain

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

agreeclassic 50 400

vote type 1 3 122

dancer4moon 8

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:23

She's rude!

breakingbad_fml 27

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:23

At least she didn't try and kill you herself. With that being said: Your mom is rude. ***Didn't see that first comment there, sorry.

Comments

insaneDONUTZ 15

Tuesday 1 January 2013 7:54

that is not very nice

Arrawyn 12

Tuesday 1 January 2013 7:55

Well that's just awful

Megan98 18

Tuesday 1 January 2013 7:57

That's pretty funny, unless she was dead serious.

mowmowlife 21

Tuesday 1 January 2013 8:33

This isn't what is usually thought of when someone dies from consuming food

hwkfan1 10

Tuesday 1 January 2013 9:55

Orange ya glad she didn't say banana? Oh wait...

shabbydoooo 8

Tuesday 1 January 2013 10:04

S-A-R-C-A-S-M

Steffi 26

Tuesday 1 January 2013 10:26

I feel your pain with the fruit allergy.

23Z9TZO 18

Tuesday 1 January 2013 12:36

So ******* tragic.

BlackRoseAndMe11 11

Tuesday 1 January 2013 13:23

Sorry OP...I think that your mom deserves that banana shoved up her ass ..

LaPush_ 7

Tuesday 1 January 2013 13:44

Omg, the funniest i ever heard!

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

agreeclassic 26 245

vote type 1 2 364

Today, I had to clean up human poop that someone trailed through the store. Then, as I was cleaning up all the shelves at the end of the day, I saw that someone had changed their sanitary pad, took a new one out of the packed and used it, then left the used one on the shelf. FML

agreeclassic 1 361

vote type 1 83

Today, my girlfriend left me for my best friend. Over a text message with "lol" in it. FML

agreeclassic 46 996

vote type 1 3 894

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

agreeclassic 56 640

vote type 1 7 878

Today, my grandpa sent me a letter apologizing for not congratulating me about my graduation last spring. Too bad I don't graduate until May. FML

agreeclassic 25 642

vote type 1 4 290

Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML

agreeclassic 875

vote type 1 199