Subway Surfer on a Mission By FML Approved - 26/09/2017 03:00 You know he's got something important going on... I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 113 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went to make chilli and instead of just using 3 cups of water like the recipe called for, I ended up using 3 quarts somehow. Now I have a pot of hot and spicy meat water. FML I agree, your life sucks 437 You deserved it 1 331
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 75 150 You deserved it 22 225
Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 096 You deserved it 3 540
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 961 You deserved it 2 980
Today, I fell asleep in the school bus on the way back home when my loud fart woke me and a few other kids up. I am a teacher. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 435 You deserved it 387
Today, I got home to see that my dad had let himself in. He told me he'd caught a feral dog that somehow got into my house, but not to worry, he lured it back outside and it ran away. So yeah, my dad set loose the dog I literally just saved yesterday from being euthanised at our local dog pound. Thanks dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 450 You deserved it 145