Story of my life... By FML Approved - 30/10/2017 14:30 - United States - New York Slides are difficult for everyone, right? I agree, your life sucks 420 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 191 You deserved it 5 531
Today, I went jogging. It was cold but I dressed lightly because I overheat when I exercise. Unfortunately, I locked myself out. My wife returned four hours later to find me spooning our dog in the doghouse to keep from freezing to death. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 928 You deserved it 965
Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 122 You deserved it 41 740
Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML I agree, your life sucks 815 You deserved it 118
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 458 You deserved it 36 379
Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 863 You deserved it 2 768