Shouldn't have said that! By FML Approved - 15/09/2017 03:30 - France - Paris Requesting nudes is always a delicate operation... I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 204 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 808 You deserved it 114
Today, I was syphoning some gas from my truck to my friend's car just enough to get to the gas station. I told my friend to let me know when the gas was coming; he said, "Alright." Suddenly, I got a mouth full of gas because he was on his phone taking a video of me. He got the whole thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 637 You deserved it 1 682
Today, my flatmate moved in with me. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, so did her mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 843 You deserved it 242
Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 778 You deserved it 418
Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 542 You deserved it 95
Today, I spent ten minutes comforting a patient’s family member, reassuring them everything was under control. When I went to leave, I realized I’d been leaning on the call button the entire time. Three other nurses ran in ready for an emergency while I was mid-sentence about coping strategies. FML I agree, your life sucks 92 You deserved it 314
it shouldn't be an issue if that's your girlfriend!!