Dogs, Cute and Animals: Not the smartest

Not the smartest

By ugh Buck! - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

agreeclassic 55 488

vote type 1 4 555

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The left hand, the right hand

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML

agreeclassic 16 831

vote type 1 42 533

By uninvited - 04/02/2016 15:16 - United States - Boston

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

agreeclassic 23 277

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The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

agreeclassic 16 867

vote type 1 30 081

Second class citizen

By crapped on - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

agreeclassic 38 579

vote type 1 4 264

Bad boy

By Shiva - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

agreeclassic 48 799

vote type 1 9 678

By bigscarypuppy - 22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

agreeclassic 35 615

vote type 1 3 260

Instant cure

By Username - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

agreeclassic 49 592

vote type 1 4 960

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

agreeclassic 30 073

vote type 1 3 816

By stressedartist - 09/09/2016 12:43 - United States

Today, I ran over Oprah. FML

agreeclassic 499

vote type 1 70

Bad boy

By MikeIsMaster - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

agreeclassic 25 592

vote type 1 5 370

vladmire 4

Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:55

The real important thing to ask: is the t.v. Okay?

Neesalun 20

Wednesday 11 September 2013 22:55

Lol! Poor baby!

Comments

midnightmango 13

Sunday 15 September 2013 2:06

Aw that's sad but adorable

Killtheguilt 3

Monday 16 September 2013 11:15

cute

jixiekat 14

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:18

dogs are retarted that's why I like cats

secretagent415 10

Thursday 3 October 2013 3:20

HAHAHAH! Well at least he knows his name..

fantasyworld 37

Monday 5 May 2014 1:41

Aww poor pup.

prettygurl89 16

Saturday 16 January 2016 11:27

I hope he and the TV are ok!

Gubbon 17

Sunday 19 November 2023 20:10

More like **** your dog's life.

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Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

agreeclassic 446

vote type 1 111

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 minutes away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

agreeclassic 36 794

vote type 1 5 488

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

agreeclassic 12 170

vote type 1 58 731

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

agreeclassic 38 362

vote type 1 3 798

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 41 072

vote type 1 10 415

Today, after my naked husband farted in my face because he’s an immature man child who refuses to act his age, this morning I woke up with raging pink eye. I’m half blind and I’m supposed to be taking my driving test this afternoon. I can’t see. FML

agreeclassic 1 208

vote type 1 244

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