School: Today, my math teacher had to call me because my grade is so... - FML

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By bad at math - 14/09/2018 13:51 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, my math teacher had to call me because my grade is so bad. It's only the second week of school. FML

agreeclassic 2 725

vote type 1 920

Alaina Heuerman app_comment_confession_title

Alaina Heuerman 20

Friday 14 September 2018 6:50

Soooo uh this was mine, but! I DID IT! I went from an F to a B! I’m not failing!

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RichardPencil 30

Saturday 1 September 2018 23:36

It’s probably the fifth week at school and you can’t even count.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 26 August 2018 0:27

Plenty of time to get that grade up, mister! Remember, 2+2=4, 1 is not a Prime Number, and Pi is delicious.

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jbowww16 10

Sunday 16 September 2018 19:11

You shouldn’t worry, just about every year I start off the first week with a bad grade then pull an A at the end

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Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

agreeclassic 31 767

vote type 1 5 989

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML

agreeclassic 12 815

vote type 1 76 307

Today, after my wife had been bleeding when we have sex, the doctors sent her to hospital. While she was there overnight, I decided to masturbate at home. Turns out it was me. I have blood in my semen and was shooting it into her during sex. Glad she’s OK, but what the hell is wrong with my balls? FML

agreeclassic 1 392

vote type 1 180

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

agreeclassic 28 508

vote type 1 2 350

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

agreeclassic 45 619

vote type 1 4 610

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow barmaid asked how are we supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

agreeclassic 31 702

vote type 1 2 293