Love: Make your mind up - FML

Make your mind up

By FML! - 07/08/2011 00:27 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

agreeclassic 47 770

vote type 1 6 598

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By skmusic - 09/04/2009 05:04 - Canada

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

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Overbearing parents are the worst

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What do you want from me?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 22:00

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML

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By lovegotmehung - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML

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By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

kleider1 9

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:07

Dude. I think she has trust issues

ChickenInMyKitch 4

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:10

You gotta wait for that second ring brah

Comments

aliciamartinez15 11

Friday 22 June 2012 7:33

Well, you know what this means... Obviously you Wait for the 2nd ring

hewro_failure 11

Monday 2 July 2012 0:23

Dump the crazy bitch

Balloonpopper101 6

Monday 16 July 2012 2:57

I hate people like that

ShipofDreams 3

Wednesday 25 July 2012 13:44

Go for the second ring

mrpandagod1234 2

Tuesday 31 July 2012 16:19

Wtf. Dump her

thisisabaduser 0

Thursday 2 August 2012 20:13

Hahahaha

TrippingOnAcid 29

Sunday 9 September 2012 19:30

Two rings is the way forward

HerDarkHeart 7

Tuesday 19 March 2013 4:56

GET OUT NOW lmao

TheGirlWithTheDD 7

Wednesday 20 March 2013 21:27

Where do people find these crazy b*tches?

jutyjaty 9

Wednesday 1 May 2013 2:58

DUMP HER

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Top

Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML

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Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

agreeclassic 37 384

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Today, I had a piano audition for a musical. Afterwards, the judge asked if I had any experience with percussion, and then told me she was considering me for a percussion part. I guess my piano audition really was THAT bad. FML

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Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

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Today, the guy we'd offered to hire, who had a 2-month notice period, emailed to say he couldn't come after all, because his employer offered to retain him. In this two-month timeframe, we didn't interview anybody else and now we're in deep shit. FML

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Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

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