Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 450 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML I agree, your life sucks 430 You deserved it 1 738
Today, I found out that all the birthday presents and decorations I bought for my son's birthday got lost in transit. I ordered them two weeks in advance, just in case something went wrong. His birthday is today and his party is tomorrow. Guess who's going to be making a Walmart trip… FML I agree, your life sucks 438 You deserved it 95
Today, I sent my wife to a 5 hour spa day. She's now upset because she had to wait to get a pedicure, and the house wasn’t clean when she got home. We have a toddler and I was playing with her, running errands, and cooking us a family dinner. She's a stay at home mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 544 You deserved it 156
Today, I was one of five people called up to the front in class to receive a special notice from the school administration. The first four people received awards for outstanding effort in school. Mine was a notice that I had overdue library fines. FML I agree, your life sucks 13 491 You deserved it 28 386
Today, I received a call offering me a job with the census bureau. I applied for this job 6 months ago while I was still fighting tooth and nail to stay where I was. Since I didn't get the job, I was evicted from my apartment, got on public assistance, and moved from North Carolina to Florida with my mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 722 You deserved it 2 557
Today, again I wrote out another FML. Again, I deleted it before posting. Every FML I write would seem like I'm just making stuff up, or would be so obviously me that it would just cause me grief. My life is just an endless stream of weird stuff I can't tell family or friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 726 You deserved it 306
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?