How I feel at the kid's table By Lewis - 19/01/2019 19:00 - France - Paris But mooooom! I'm a grown man! I agree, your life sucks 279 You deserved it 61 Share Tweet Share
Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML I agree, your life sucks 509 You deserved it 203
Today, I came home from three months off the continent. My parents drove me home, and when we drove past our house, I assumed we were going for a welcome home supper. Instead, we drove to a dilapidated trailer and my parents said, "Welcome home." We used to live in a large, beautiful two-story house. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 196 You deserved it 207
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 449 You deserved it 204
Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 15 149 You deserved it 78 971
Today, I heard on television that a body was found in my city's water reservoir. Word is that it was dead for over a week. I've been drinking and showering with that water. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 517 You deserved it 2 806
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML I agree, your life sucks 37 004 You deserved it 5 673
Are his/her legs crossed?