Animals: Happy meal

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

agreeclassic 36 570

vote type 1 3 027

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Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

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By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

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By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

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Tasty snack

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

agreeclassic 46 125

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By danonno - 02/08/2012 21:08 - Canada - Nelson

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

agreeclassic 30 310

vote type 1 3 298

By Arachnaphobe - 03/06/2016 22:14 - United States - Bloomington

Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML

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Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

agreeclassic 1 601

vote type 1 128

By Whateversz - 24/07/2010 19:59 - Netherlands

Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML

agreeclassic 38 061

vote type 1 3 744

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

agreeclassic 8 648

vote type 1 773

By GetMeTheDamnBleach - 21/10/2014 19:46 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

agreeclassic 23 522

vote type 1 32 174

ollierocks96 0

Friday 18 December 2009 3:46

I actually did have this happen

cch2010 0

Friday 18 December 2009 1:33

thats nasty

Comments

13__Loki__13 1

Saturday 19 December 2009 3:18

the guy or the spider?

Tigg3r 3

Saturday 19 December 2009 5:30

every aracnophobic's worst nightmare... *shudders* Thanks for the nightmares OP...

DizzyVulps 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 21:46

cool seriously??

DizzyVulps 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 21:46

cool seriously??

lonelymatchmaker 0

Monday 28 December 2009 4:14

EW EW That's so frickin gross! I feel so bad for you!!

Bethelle 0

Monday 28 December 2009 8:12

wrong place wrong time

FML_reader_denzy 0

Monday 11 January 2010 15:01

Nasty.............jus nasttyyyyyyy!!

mwz777 0

Friday 2 April 2010 7:49

Hahahahahaha that sucks though

hunterg 0

Friday 30 April 2010 3:30

grody

lezzyluver 0

Friday 28 May 2010 5:16

you eat about 9spiders a night so deal

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Today, I saw the engagement announcement for the girl I've been in love with for 10 years. FML

agreeclassic 1 525

vote type 1 894

Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked, "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML

agreeclassic 35 087

vote type 1 5 290

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

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Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

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Today, I got a call from my mom-in-law saying I have to buy my own food. I took 3 weeks off on unpaid vacation and came out of state to watch my in-laws' house and dog sit while they go out of country. I'm not allowed to touch their food, even the spoiling stuff. My husband doesn't believe me. FML

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vote type 1 371

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

agreeclassic 43 620

vote type 1 18 066