Miscellaneous: Girl…

Girl…

By sober - 22/03/2026 18:00 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 411

You deserved it 4 334

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Same thing different taste

It's better than nothing, I suppose

By thatonekid - 06/05/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 046

You deserved it 5 194

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 755

You deserved it 5 793

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 265

You deserved it 3 054

Nice view

By Sexting Parents - 16/11/2012 02:45 - United States - Short Hills

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 879

You deserved it 2 761

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 154

Let down

By MoxyR12 - 24/06/2009 15:33 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 846

You deserved it 5 734

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 2 386

Supportive

By arch maester shavayalsharashion - 26/07/2015 17:29 - United Kingdom - Surbiton

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 832

You deserved it 2 936

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 511

You deserved it 3 040

By Username - 17/08/2011 23:37 - United States

Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 689

You deserved it 41 843

XxLorniklexX 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 1:13

This is why parents shouldn't text.

kk_fml 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 6:17

that is hilarious

Comments

blah_blah_shity 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 5:24

EW that sucks. awkward. LOL

BethiiGeex 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 12:20

Best fml ever XD

kk_fml 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 6:17

that is hilarious

ihml44 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 7:32

hahah funny, but if that ever happened to me i'd probably never go home again hahh

yay_fml 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 7:52

Bahahahahahahaha this is something my dad would do.

Lil_fml 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 12:19

HAHA. That is funny! And the fact that he said "What you up to girl" just makes it worse.

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Monday 21 April 2014 21:17

hilarious indeed, unless he was attempting to flirt. then its creepy & awkward

greenman_fml 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 16:02

you should have responded: "n2m just bangin some random dude. pce"

hellzyeah88 0

Friday 13 February 2009 5:01

lol...my mom drunk texts me all the time.... : )

XxLorniklexX 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 1:13

This is why parents shouldn't text.

pommeblossom 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 5:45

AHHAHA :D

annieis 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 22:50

hahaha im at work and laughing outloud

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The Top

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out, "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes; she responded with, "Wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 4 439

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 245

You deserved it 45 531

Today, I went to the dentist after not being there for 3 years. I was told that I had loads of cavities and that I would need to pay $3,000 for a serious mouth surgery. The reason I hadn't been to the dentist in 3 years: I've been married to a dentist for 3 years that said my teeth were "perfect." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 376

You deserved it 6 142

Today, I took my daughter to get the expensive pixie cut she’s been "dying" for. As soon as we got home, my husband burst into hysterical laughter and pointed out that she looks exactly like he did in high school. Now she’s sobbing and begging for either a wig or even more expensive extensions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 233

Today, my parents promised to drive me to my grandma's house instead of me taking the bus.I was so excited that I could finally have a week away from my suffocating parents but my dad cancelled tonight, so I'm stuck and secretly crying because if they'd have let me take the bus, I'd be at my grandma's, AWAY FROM THEM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 77

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home, so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes, I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years, until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 269

You deserved it 4 371