Miscellaneous: Dumbass

Dumbass

By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/09/2012 22:21 - United States

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

agreeclassic 24 433

vote type 1 8 472

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By Anonymous - 03/11/2013 21:32 - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/11/2013 20:51 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

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By ThanksMom - 08/07/2016 07:54 - United States - State College

Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML

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By theslutmuncher - 14/12/2012 23:20 - Germany - Merseburg

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 16:43 - United States - Logan

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

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Alexa, play "Your Daddy's Car" by The Divine Comedy

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 18:00

Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/06/2013 22:00 - United States

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

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By DaveAlmighty - 02/07/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

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By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

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By Grounded - 03/11/2011 09:18 - United States

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

agreeclassic 45 983

vote type 1 3 360

lilhellian 26

Saturday 29 September 2012 5:26

He's just teaching you by showing you the wrong way.:)

NashyzzleTheN 10

Saturday 29 September 2012 5:26

Mama must have been so proud:)

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 29 September 2012 22:42

They deserved it.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Saturday 29 September 2012 22:50

Have it towed.

friedbunnies 9

Sunday 30 September 2012 2:02

You're a terrible watch person.

vbmg152 18

Sunday 30 September 2012 2:49

Nice Dad!

kitkattgirl 2

Sunday 30 September 2012 4:03

And the Father of the Year award goes to...

hope_martin 3

Sunday 30 September 2012 4:30

llmarilyn 4

Sunday 30 September 2012 4:30

Lol

Vanezza 1

Sunday 30 September 2012 5:39

Epicvidmaster 5

Sunday 30 September 2012 5:49

Dinkleburg!!!

wubbazugg 5

Sunday 30 September 2012 6:15

What you do, is take standard 8d nails and wedge them point up behind the sidewalls of the tires. When they back up, the nail will puncture the sidewall, and ruin their $300+ tires. Sidewall damage is irreparable.