dadtoporno By Emil - 21/11/2017 03:30 Today I told my dad that I wanted to go see a movie that had an actor I loved in it. He took me to see it and it turned out to be a porno.. FML agreeclassic 48 vote type 1 58 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was woken by my younger sister punching me in the balls. She also pulled the duvet off, and dragged me out of bed by my feet and onto the floor. All because I ate her chocolates, which were a gift. I was left writhing in pain in my underwear right in front of her. FML agreeclassic 244 vote type 1 2 068
Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a while, and I'd always wanted an uncommon proposal. As we get to the top, my mind started to fantasize. As he rifled through his pockets, I think to myself, “This is it, our big moment!” He then says, “I've always wanted to smoke a cigarette at 300 meters." FML agreeclassic 646 vote type 1 151
Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML agreeclassic 22 544 vote type 1 57 333
Today, I woke this morning to my girlfriend asking me how many calories are in her deodorant. FML agreeclassic 1 444 vote type 1 208
Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML agreeclassic 34 801 vote type 1 2 674
Today, I realized that even the worst criminals have girls falling for them, and meanwhile, I just got ghosted again. FML agreeclassic 806 vote type 1 255