Crystal Ball Cat By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00 Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away! I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 127 Share Tweet Share
Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 019 You deserved it 2 575
Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 276 You deserved it 3 481
Today, I told my mom I was leaving early to give my boyfriend a ride to work. She asked me why on Earth I’m even attracted to someone who doesn’t have a car. FML I agree, your life sucks 975 You deserved it 416
Today, my phone alarm went off at 3 AM. I don't remember setting it, but it turns out I'd somehow activated an old "Wake up for a meteor shower" reminder. Despite it being the wrong day by months, I got up, looked outside, and only then did my brain kick into gear and I realized it was set for the wrong date. FML I agree, your life sucks 339 You deserved it 196
Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 716 You deserved it 3 453
Today, a gothic 16-year-old with a bread knife tried to mug me. After warning her to back off multiple times, I punched her in the face. She ran off crying and reported me to the police. They don't believe my side of the story. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 971 You deserved it 291