Budget Spa By FML Approved - 25/10/2017 20:30 Who else is ready to take a personal day with this dog? I agree, your life sucks 506 You deserved it 120 Share Tweet Share
Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML. I agree, your life sucks 2 606 You deserved it 250
Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML I agree, your life sucks 29 306 You deserved it 2 870
Today, I found out the real cause of my dog's illness that she had just recovered from. When my sister took her in to see the vet, the vet said my dog was constipated, and swallowed something orange. That orange thing happened to be my favorite thong. FML I agree, your life sucks 40 097 You deserved it 6 301
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 223 You deserved it 66 296
Today, I used the “Find My…” app to locate a missing AirPods. Good news: I found them. Bad news: they are inside my dog’s belly. Next stop: Emergency vet. FML I agree, your life sucks 795 You deserved it 180
Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 010 You deserved it 308
I see carrots. Is it a bath, or are they making a stew?
Ok... that is just too cute for words! :)