Bad hair day By Faithy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn't working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn't turned it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 918 You deserved it 49 036 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had a third date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML I agree, your life sucks 65 872 You deserved it 4 795
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day at work. I woke up when someone gently tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see people smiling at me. I'd been snoring so loud that the conductor had said, “Please wake Sleeping Beauty up, this is the last stop.” I had drooled on my tie and missed my actual stop by an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 381 You deserved it 153
Today, I was the last to go upstairs, so I had to turn off the lights. My tired brain decided to use my phone flashlight to check if all the lights were out. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 090 You deserved it 1 208
Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 929 You deserved it 4 875
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML I agree, your life sucks 4 842 You deserved it 836
Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 47 107 You deserved it 5 871
dumbass.
you spelled blonde wrong :)