By FML Approved - 13/07/2017 18:30 I agree, your life sucks 513 You deserved it 149 Share Tweet Share
Today, my ex claimed she missed me and asked me to come back, but when I gave her a polite and firm no, she turned nasty and keyed my car. Apparently, what she actually missed was someone mug enough to pay 2/3 of the household bills, while looking after her badly behaved brat whenever she didn't want to. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 085 You deserved it 138
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 261 You deserved it 1 437
Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 249 You deserved it 4 510
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 669 You deserved it 3 001
Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML I agree, your life sucks 58 955 You deserved it 5 560
Today, I realized am THAT parent: I put a lot of pressure on my 8 year-old (!) daughter, because I hope she succeeds professionally and will have the self-confidence I lack. Why do I rather stay at home and lack self-confidence? Because my own mother put me under so much pressure and drowned me in her expectations. FML I agree, your life sucks 177 You deserved it 916
Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.