Work

By ellibits - 18/09/2009 07:29 - United Kingdom

Today, at my work at a designer clothing store, we received a list of photos from the police of known shoplifters. My coworkers were looking at the list saying "Eugh, look at that one: you'd shoplift with a face like that". I walked over and saw that they were looking at a photo of my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 622

You deserved it 6 403

ellibits tells us more.

ellibits 0

Friday 18 September 2009 21:36

Hi, I am the original poster, and I don't think he's ugly; just his mugshot isn't exactly flattering. But whose is?! Apparently he used to steal a long time ago to overcompensate being secretly gay. Whatever, he's no longer my problem.

It's maths

By bastawhiz - 18/09/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, a professor approached me in the hall to ask if, since I'm a math major, I could tutor one of her communications majors in a required Calculus course. Apparently the volunteer tutor the school provides "is a complete dumbass." I'm the school's volunteer tutor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 826

You deserved it 4 513

Oddly specific

By Economess - 17/09/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks's odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 940

You deserved it 4 171

By Nakdnathan - 16/09/2009 16:19 - United States

Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because I like him, I don't like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 085

You deserved it 3 956

The trumpet of success

By interviewed - 16/09/2009 10:37 - United States

Today, I went to an interview for a job I really wanted and am qualified for. I've been looking for months. This job was perfect; close to home and great pay. Needless to say I spent quite a while preparing. Everything was going great until I had to sneeze, which forced out a loud, long fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 053

You deserved it 4 208

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 636

You deserved it 6 757

By bonedregardless - 15/09/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, at my cashier job, I got written up for accepting obviously photocopied coupons. Last week, I got written up for "inadequate customer service" because I refused to accept the same bogus coupons from the same customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 687

You deserved it 2 436

You bastard!

By Backseatseller - 15/09/2009 05:35 - New Zealand

Today, I was at work, and some people came in looking for a particular couch. After looking for over an hour on the wholesalers website my boss walks over, makes me take my lunch break and then calls over the couple and takes all the credit for the sale. We work on commission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 717

You deserved it 3 141

By conley19 - 15/09/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 277

You deserved it 4 813

By _philliesfan - 14/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I was prioritizing my extreme amount of homework. I read over the front page of my psychology paper seeing that it was pretty easy questions, I decided to do it last. Little did I know there was a 8 page essay on the back of the page. It's 12:19 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 738

You deserved it 21 170

By thissucks - 14/09/2009 01:00 - United States

Today, after finishing a three-page essay for my spanish class, I went to rip up my brainstorming paper in an act of triumph. After I finished ripping it up, I looked on my desk to see my brainstorming paper fully intact, and my essay torn into bits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 504

You deserved it 67 998

Money money money!

By ofcourse - 13/09/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 941

You deserved it 2 635

Oh, by the way…

By Tagged - 13/09/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, I accidentally left the tag on the new pants that I wore to work. Nobody had brought it to my attention for the whole day until finally, before I was about to go home, every single employee and my boss let me know by yelling in unison and laughing as I left the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 258

You deserved it 7 782

Pleased to see me?

By Lukev7 - 12/09/2009 13:14 - Australia

Today, it was my first day at Military School. Our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood, which the commander wasted no time in addressing in front of the rest of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 028

You deserved it 5 605

By badjob - 12/09/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I called the company with whom I had a job interview last week, which I thought went great, but hadn't heard back from. One of the interviewers claimed that I tried to grope her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 284

You deserved it 3 090

By Thistle - 12/09/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I filled out an application at WalMart after being unable to find a job in three months. I just graduated from law school. With honors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 671

You deserved it 5 130

Precious memories

By jeph23 - 11/09/2009 20:11 - United States

Today, after picking up my 6 year-old from school, he said, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me. We got home, I looked up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in junior high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 333

You deserved it 19 179

By howrude - 11/09/2009 11:57 - Canada

Today, my friends took me out to the most expensive restaurant in town to celebrate my promotion, we ordered everything with expensive drinks too. They 'took a smoke break' and left me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 719

You deserved it 4 764

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 06:02 - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 693

You deserved it 6 968

By slashteddy - 09/09/2009 23:30 - United States

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 975

You deserved it 2 810

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 20:48 - Canada

Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 149

You deserved it 7 940

By h0308 - 08/09/2009 09:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 725

You deserved it 4 617

By CMANIA - 07/09/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 042

You deserved it 6 633

By SapphireRaven - 07/09/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I found out that I was denied for work study eligibility by my college. I went to my financial advisor to ask why. It wasn't my grades or attendance. Apparently my father makes too much money for me to get a job at the school. My dad was fired 3 months ago and has been out of work since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 665

You deserved it 2 576

By bubbles - 05/09/2009 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 704

You deserved it 41 113

By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 128

You deserved it 18 104

Offended

By Anonymous - 04/09/2009 04:31 - Canada

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 206

You deserved it 3 524

Gas giant

By DrGas - 04/09/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, while giving a lecture about gasses to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusually loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 403

You deserved it 47 272

Creep alert

By Pop_Pies - 03/09/2009 13:27 - Australia

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over five hours. Slightly tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink. He smiled and winked back. When I finished work two hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 118

You deserved it 4 167

By yogabbagabba - 03/09/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 211

You deserved it 38 775

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my boyfriend said to me, in front of his friends, “Can you stop breaking out into song all the time? It’s getting really annoying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 890

Today, while jailbreaking my dad's phone, I found out the hard way that it's jam-packed full of my mom's nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 630

You deserved it 7 884

Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 102

Today, my mom took away my car, phone, dog, laptop and college fund because I told her she lets me down sometimes. I'm moving to Arizona for college in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 153

You deserved it 2 580

Today, my son accused me of being a "Karen" about house rules, and insists he’ll follow normal rules but ignore my supposedly "insane" rules. I consider all my rules normal, so he pointed out he’s 6ft6 and 100 lbs heavier so he will ignore rules he doesn’t agree with, and good luck stopping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 1 021

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 240

You deserved it 7 304