Miscellaneous

I'll leave you to it then…

By scared shitless in ohio - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Dublin

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

agreeclassic 44 332

vote type 1 5 650

Right

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

agreeclassic 15 297

vote type 1 48 050

Wedge issues

By What the fuck - 03/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I learned that there are people who actually, unironically believe that Danny Masterson is innocent. Faith in humanity: Gone. FML

agreeclassic 467

vote type 1 262

Why did you tell me that?

By mymomplucksbutthair - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

agreeclassic 40 295

vote type 1 3 502

You must conform

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Germany - Titisee-neustadt

Today, I'm the only grandchild who regularly visits, calls, and runs errands for my grandparents, even though I live two hours away. I'm also their biggest disappointment because I'm not married. FML

agreeclassic 23 560

vote type 1 1 709

Let me in

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 08:00

Today, I found myself locked out of my apartment because my roommate had a medical emergency while I was out of town. The rental office, including maintenance, is closed until Monday. FML

agreeclassic 631

vote type 1 206

Put it away!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring Grove

Today, an extremely hot police officer reprimanded me. It was pretty awkward considering she stopped me because of public urination. FML

agreeclassic 6 986

vote type 1 35 066

Heckler hell

By katie876 - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

agreeclassic 31 736

vote type 1 3 561

Bananarama

By wtfisthisworldcomingto - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

agreeclassic 37 882

vote type 1 7 510

Backfired

By Telemistake - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days… I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

agreeclassic 18 452

vote type 1 70 225

Alexa, play "Family Snapshot" by Peter Gabriel

By totalloss - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I had to sit between my parents in the car as they argued with one another for a whole hour over whether or not a thumb is a finger. FML

agreeclassic 24 804

vote type 1 2 237

It's getting old, Nan

By sick of this shit - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Kelowna

Today, my grandma got drunk, tried to change the TV channel with my Xbox controller, and slurred at me to fuck off when I told her it wasn't the remote. She pulls this kind of crap way too often. FML

agreeclassic 20 247

vote type 1 1 629

Off script

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML

agreeclassic 82 032

vote type 1 4 275

The not-so-great escape

By malloreigh - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

agreeclassic 27 233

vote type 1 4 619

Don't worry, IQ ain't real

By snathans - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

agreeclassic 18 374

vote type 1 80 045

Someone has to

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

agreeclassic 26 376

vote type 1 6 141

HOAs suck

By really? - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

agreeclassic 27 966

vote type 1 1 712

Was that really necessary?

By dayum - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Mexico

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did I remembered there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper; he never did, and came out without socks. FML

agreeclassic 34 542

vote type 1 5 813

That's not my name

By noname - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Alexandria

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as "The short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

agreeclassic 29 694

vote type 1 4 596

Wild ride

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be got to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

agreeclassic 32 855

vote type 1 5 213

Know your place

By slingerslasher - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - New York

Today, I was using the short urinal when I heard someone say, "Ahem!" in a loud voice. I looked back to see an angry little kid. He made me switch urinals so he could use the short one. I got urinal-evicted by a little boy. FML

agreeclassic 11 614

vote type 1 7 422

Holy cultural stereotype Batman!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2023 22:00

Today, our new neighbour three doors up just moved in, he even came round to introduce himself to everyone to assure us he means to be a good neighbour, and won’t be too noisy. Six hours later we found out he’s Scottish and likes to practise his bagpipes in the back garden. FML

agreeclassic 625

vote type 1 131

Prank wars

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML

agreeclassic 16 770

vote type 1 119 083

Too many JCS videos

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

agreeclassic 40 377

vote type 1 7 987

Disproportionate response

By notout - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my 28-year-old brother screamed at me and outed me to our very religious, homophobic parents because I wouldn't let him shock his friend with an electric dog collar. FML

agreeclassic 5 121

vote type 1 743

Are you OK?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Israel

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

agreeclassic 26 004

vote type 1 2 843

Creaky floorboards

By wtf?? - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

agreeclassic 38 324

vote type 1 3 690

ARE YOU SORRY?

By Jim - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, during PE, I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

agreeclassic 28 896

vote type 1 4 391

It's bad for your health

By Anonyme - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Lyon

Today, Murphy's law didn't check out: my piece of toast didn't fall on the side covered in a spread of jam. However, when I leaned against the corner of the table to pick it up, I knocked a full ashtray on top of it. FML

agreeclassic 20 165

vote type 1 7 058

Creative

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I discovered that my new roommate likes to take the loose hair when she showers and make shapes with it on the shower wall. She calls it art. FML

agreeclassic 32 453

vote type 1 3 833

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I had a Zoom interview. My chair decided to break from under me. CRACK! One leg broke. I tried to compose myself and played it off. CRACK! The second leg gave out and I couldn't hold myself up anymore and fell down with it. The interviewer promptly stopped the interview and said, "We’ll be in touch." FML

agreeclassic 1 002

vote type 1 158

Today, I learned that when you tell an employee with anger issues that he’s had too many sick days due to being hungover, there's a high chance you will be hoisted off the ground by your shirt front and thrown into a drainage ditch full of stagnant water and a dead fox. FML

agreeclassic 590

vote type 1 100

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

agreeclassic 38 500

vote type 1 5 027

Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML

agreeclassic 23 323

vote type 1 6 495

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML

agreeclassic 22 346

vote type 1 35 164

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

agreeclassic 35 327

vote type 1 2 197