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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Medication

    Wrong drugs

    By Anonymous - 26/07/2009 05:57 - United States

    Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 8 164
    You deserved it 85 204
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    Today, I finally finished a drawing of a tiger. The only thing left to do is write the word "Tiger" in Sanskrit and glitter on the portrait, because I thought it would look cool. Only to find out, the Sanskrit word for tiger is "Viagra." No, I'm not kidding. This portrait took me numerous tries and several weeks. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 693
    You deserved it 397
    Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 115
    You deserved it 5 490
    Today, some thieves broke into my church and stole our cameras, monitors, and some other hardware. We were planning to use them for the security system we were about to install. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 44 154
    You deserved it 6 179
    Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 658
    You deserved it 4 677
    Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery, and when it arrived, the box was completely empty except for a receipt and a piece of lettuce. I called the restaurant, and they insisted I must’ve eaten it all, and was just pretending. I took a picture of the empty box and the soggy piece of lettuce to prove them wrong. It didn't work. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 512
    You deserved it 84
    Today, at my workplace, $200 checks were given to every employee for how well the corporation was doing. The temps didn't get any. Guess who was the only temp. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 23 839
    You deserved it 2 344
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