Family

So, thanks for that

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 09:00

Today, I had to listen to my mom telling me my paternal grandmother had to tell he my step-grandfather has a small uncut dick, but big balls. I could've gone my whole life not knowing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 332

USA! USA! USA!

By Your turkey stinks anyway - 27/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was uninvited to our usual family Thanksgiving, as well as the rest of the holidays with my extended family. Why? They found out who I voted for. I won't say who, but according to my aunt, I'm to blame for putting their son's healthcare at risk. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 1 252

Weirdo

By whateven333 - 18/02/2015 04:02 - United States - Gibsonia

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 941

You deserved it 2 688

Consent

By SirEnigM0nk - 07/03/2022 23:22 - United States - Riderwood

Today, during a Zoom meeting to discuss genetic disorders, my mom chose to share my challenges and experiences. I might have approved, had she acknowledged my presence and asked my permission instead of speaking before me. Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 217

SirEnigM0nk tells us more.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Monday 7 March 2022 20:55

Hello everyone, OP here. So to give a bit of background: our 14 month old was diagnosed with a relatively rare genetic defect which has contributed to her delayed development. My wife and I met with other parents whose kids have similar conditions to share our experiences and learn about treatment efforts. My mom was present, and though she has a right to speak her piece, she tends to speak off the cuff. She launched into my story without asking first. Further, she did so before my wife and I had a chance to share our daughter's story. So yeah, I felt thrown under the bus. Just a bit.

Help wanted

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 00:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I fought with my sister. We're both adults, but I cussed her out and called her an idiot or something, and a bitch. I’m trying my best to get therapy for this shit. I have found nothing that helps me quit acting this way. I grew up with it in my parents' behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 459

It's gettin' hott in here…

By Alan - 02/09/2015 20:13 - Germany

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 783

You deserved it 2 520

Projection much, Mom?

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 14:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my mother brought my sex life in front of an entire family gathering. I lost my virginity at 17 and when she found out she called me a whore. This time, she told the family I'd slept with 100 men by the time I was 18. I’m 40 and my body count is 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 253

Bread is serious stuff

By bullsonyourface - 30/09/2019 20:00

Today, it's my 6-year anniversary with my fiance, but due to a lot of different family issues, I had to drive 9 hours with my dad to go visit them. Long story short, there was a giant argument about bread, my dad stormed out and I'm left to deal with this shit storm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 477

You deserved it 176

Leave us alone

By DepressedMama - 26/01/2022 12:00 - United States - Kula

Today, my husband and mother started supplementing my newborn son with formula, because they are such control freaks and don't like my son getting attached to me. He was doing very well while exclusively breastfed according to the doctor. But it looks like my happiness or my son's well-being is of zero importance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 078

You deserved it 176

Compassion

By Anonymous - 14/07/2022 00:00

Today, we recently had to unplug our mom from life support. We decided it together as a family, but as her medical proxy, I was the one who had to tell the hospital to do it. Now half my family members don’t talk to me, like I decided all on my own to kill her behind their backs. I want my mom back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 011

You deserved it 104

Rabbit hole

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 17:00 - United States - Big Lake

Today, after falling down an incredibly expansive DNA test rabbit hole, I found out that my first girlfriend was actually related to me. I can’t believe I’ve lived what I always thought was a disgusting and unrealistic porn trope: teen lesbian incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 295

People don't always get sarcasm

By Martin - 15/03/2021 17:00

Today, my son asked if there was a way to make parenting easier. I sarcastically told him he could be a deadbeat who sees his kid every two weeks. He must have thought I was serious because he broke up with his girlfriend and baby, turned up at my door expecting to have his old room, and told my wife it was my idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 1 207

Share, not scare

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, during a family dinner, my uncle asked if anyone had any embarrassing stories. Feeling brave, I told them about my recent breakup. As I was getting to the juicy details, my 11-year-old cousin piped up, saying, “You’re talking about the time you ate pizza naked, right?” My face was instantly beet red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 212

Package deal

By Anonymous - 11/11/2022 00:00 - France

Today, my spoiled step-daughter had extra chores to do for breaking the rules. She called my wife at work, complained about the chores, then my wife called me and said that she didn't want to deal with the drama. It ended with, "Make her do something else!" WTF! She chooses her own punishment! I hate this kid, seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 262

Weird awakening

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 04:00

Today, I woke up to my sister sucking my toes because she was drunk, wanted to borrow one of my toe rings but couldn’t get it off, and thought spit would lubricate it off with her tongue. She doesn’t even live here, it’s my house. She used her spare key to get in at 1 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 126

Whatever could she be talking about?

By Terrence - 12/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my sister asked me if "the worst comes to the worst" she could come and live with me here in the UK. She's in the US, and due to all the shit that's going on over there, her health insurance and job security are on the line. Weirdly, all her "yeehaw MAGA" posts have disappeared from her socials. I wonder why… FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 171

Thief!

By mystery - 19/09/2021 05:00

Today, my mom blocked me on everything, kicked me out of her house, and declared that I'm "dead to her." Why? She ordered a package, but it never came. I’m still trying to process how that could possibly be my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 74

I can't eat these

By brokedude - 13/03/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I got my birthday present from my dad. Instead of buying me things I told him I needed, he bought me collectible coins. I’m already stretched thin on my budget, and very stressed out. Looks like I’m living off Ramen and Oatmeal for the next 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 189

What?

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 17:59

Today, I asked my son to repeat something he had said. He got right up in my face and screamed that it was time I got a "fucking hearing aid." His siblings agreed with him. My husband agreed so much, he won’t even punish him for yelling and swearing, because, “Honestly, we all wanted to scream it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 1 240

Waste of time

By Sick - 17/07/2022 16:00 - Chile - Santiago

Today, after our in-laws begged us to go, we drove 350 km each way to attend a birthday party on a Sunday. Upon arriving, they informed us the party started at 5 pm, not lunch time, leaving us to drive 5 hours in the dark. Our reward? My husband, 3 year old, 7 month old, and myself tested positive for Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 213

Uber sister

By Aerogal - 30/11/2020 17:01

Today, I took my sister to the airport, after she asked me to a week ago. Five minutes into the ride, she told me she wasn’t going to the one 20 minutes away, but the one an hour away instead and gave me no gas money. FM

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 179

The Breeders

By no spank - 11/08/2020 20:01

Today, my family once again mocked and insulted me for being the only one to not spank my kids. Apparently, they’ll grow up entitled and in prison if I don’t. Odd, seeing as my kids are 10 times better behaved than their kids, who get spanked on a regular. Ah well, here’s to hitting kids I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 371

A rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 16:02

Today, I got back from a camping trip after being homesick for 3 weeks. I couldn't remember why I had wanted to be away from my family for so long when I signed up for it. When I got home, I remembered. Everyone in my family hates each other. I want to go back to the camping site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 270

Extreme shot reaction

By Exhausted - 14/06/2021 05:31 - India - Chennai

Today, a day after my mom and I got the vaccine, we've been doing everything around the house with one hand each through the pain. My dad hasn't helped out at all despite my requests, and sees nothing wrong with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 321

Emergency hotline

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 16:00

Today, I spent one night with my phone turned off so I could finally relax. When I turned it back on I had 17 missed calls from siblings wanting to moan about their spouses, 5 calls from mom, 6 from dad, 2 from work, and 2 from my ex. I think I’ve earned some time alone, don’t you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 137

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 03:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I matched with a cute girl on a dating app and messaged her something flirty: “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.” She replied, “That’s my cousin’s joke. He used it in his wedding vows last year. Small world, huh?" Of all the matches to make, I had to match a distant relative… FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 430

Slipped my mind

By PaulineB - 12/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I was complaining to my best friend about my weird cousin and how annoying he is whenever I see him (which isn't often, thankfully). She replied, “Isn’t that my boyfriend you're talking about?” Turns out, yes. Yes, he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 400

Double standard

By Anonymous - 06/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding reception. Everyone got offended when I threw my hands up and backed off to avoid catching the garter and let the two guys on either side fight for it. Nothing but laughs for the cousin who grabbed the bouquet out of someone else's hand and punched her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 118

Cocobananas

By Anonymous - 09/03/2016 18:54 - United Kingdom - Carlisle

Today, at a family dinner, I found the courage to tell my husband's parents about my schizophrenia. They exchanged weird looks and then there was an uncomfortable silence. Then my father-in-law finally says, "Christ. The grandkids won't come out all nutty, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 657

You deserved it 2 128

The family tree is a stump

By Anonymous - 30/10/2018 12:00

Today, my family is too damn close. My uncle on my dad's side just got my aunt on my mum's side pregnant, three cousins from dad's side are dating three cousins from mum's side, and a half brother from my dad is marrying my half sister from my mum. We are the inbred rednecks of this town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 544

You deserved it 367

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I realized the reason my neighbor keeps smiling awkwardly at me is because I’ve been waving enthusiastically at their security camera every morning, thinking it was a motion-activated light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 349

Today, I saw a man begging for change downtown. I offered to buy him a meal, just to help him out with food. He said, "Sure, does Friday work?" I told him that I didn't mean it like that. Three hours later, he found me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 198

Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 142

You deserved it 2 970

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 813

You deserved it 2 340

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 021

You deserved it 1 808

Today, I accidentally called my Dad “Babe” on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 747