Embarrassing

Impressive

By Anonymous - 09/03/2023 22:00

Today, I tried to show off my basketball skills to a cute girl at the park. I went up for a dunk and ended up getting stuck in the net, hanging upside down while everyone laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 1 029

Worst party ever

By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 4 083

Live dumping

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 02:00

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 2 153

Policy of truth

By jk. - 20/01/2022 02:01

Today, my girlfriend tried to look at my phone and I turned it away from her. Now she’s convinced I’m cheating on her. In reality, I’m too embarrassed to admit it’s because Facebook is showing me nonstop ads for laxatives after I ordered some two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 1 152

First time for everything

By Anonymous - 02/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Hoffman

Today, I've been sneezing and coughing and not feeling well, so I decided to go to the grocery store to get some bone broth and some orange juice. Shortly after grabbing the orange juice, I felt like I had to pass gas, except it wasn't gas, it was diarrhea. At 35 years-old I pooped my pants in the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 176

The Fall

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 18:00

Today, as a restaurant hostess, I fell into the fountain at work while carrying a high chair in front of several large parties, who all promptly laughed at me. We were so busy, I had to stay and finish my shift soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 217

STOP!

By What's that beeping noise?? - 02/10/2025 12:00

Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 123

Bill or Ted?

By NotWhatItLooksLike - 30/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was listening to music while wearing my headphones on campus. A song I really liked came on, and after a while, I started doing air guitar along to it. I was soon accosted by campus security. Apparently, air guitar looks like jerking off from really far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 255

Helping hands

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my first poop at home after having my baby, and it was a total mess. I still have no strength in my legs so while trying to clean myself I fell and couldn’t get up. The only one in the house was my father-in-law, so he had to pick me up naked with poop down my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 123

Sticky

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 06:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while at work, I was driving a manual car for the third time ever. I managed to stall it and jolt forward, bumping the horn at the same time in front of a group of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 244

Mom Jokes FTW

By Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 391

You deserved it 383

**** OFF, thanks

By please leave... - 13/02/2013 19:33 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 193

You deserved it 6 382

How did you not feel it?

By Anonymous - 15/06/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I wore new trousers to work. As I walked to my desk, I noticed a weird damp patch near my zip. Panicking, I thought I'd pissed myself. I rushed to the bathroom, then figured out that it was the condensation from my lunch container, which was in my bag that I had on my lap during the bus ride to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 137

Please leave

By acrobat - 24/08/2023 20:00

Today, I thought it would be fun to make a grand entrance at a party by doing a backflip through the door. I misjudged the height of the door frame, crashed my shins into it, and landed on my face right on a pile of shoes by the door. The host asked if I needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 1 379

How've you been?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I mistook a random stranger in the grocery store for my friend and started complaining about how annoying my coworkers are at the moment. The stranger just nodded, concerned, and slowly backed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 563

Bumpy ride

By Anonymous - 16/07/2021 04:01

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 116

Easy mistake

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 466

Broadcasting

By Anonymous - 16/01/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, at 1 a.m., I had my headphones on trying to watch porn. I live in an apartment with thin ass walls anyway, and I didn’t realize my headphone jack had come undone. The volume was terrible on the video so I raised it louder, not realizing it until like maybe halfway through the video, and my window was also open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 569

The cost of sucking up

By Louis DJ - 04/02/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant with my boss, trying to make a good impression. I ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, only to later realize I'd forgotten my wallet. My boss had to pay for the meal, and I'm wondering if my job in accounting is now on the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 717

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 128

Melting man

By Anonymous - 12/04/2023 18:00

Today, I was on my way to a relatively important interview when I realized that I'd forgotten to put on antiperspirant. Once seated, I was so nervous that I started sweating profusely under my light blue shirt, and by the end of the whole ordeal I had huge sweat stains under my armpits, down to my elbows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 258

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 22:00

Today, at my little cousin’s birthday party, some spoilt child played a prank and placed chocolate cake on my seat just as I was about to sit. Let’s just say of all the days, today was a bad day to wear cream trousers and park the car quite a way away from the venue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 140

Jenny Rotten

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I dyed my hair for the first time. It turned out great, and I couldn't wait to show it off during my night out with my friends. Everyone was so shocked or disgusted, I ended up claiming I lost a bet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 052

You deserved it 2 015

Invaded

By somanybirds - 25/04/2017 08:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, while using a doorless restroom at the beach, a pack of seagulls rushed into my stall, followed by a group of kids chasing them. I guess the noise from tearing open a pad sounded enough like a bag of chips for them to think there was food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 825

You deserved it 332

Canvassing

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 22:30 - Czech Republic - Mesice

Today, I was alone at home. It was a boring day, so I just masturbated. Then someone rang the bell. Police and reporters were waiting for me at the door. There was a triple homicide and a suicide next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 215

The main attraction

By Born Slippy - 23/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking on a rainy pavement in new shoes. Suddenly, I slipped, flailed my arms wildly, and landed flat on my back. The worst part? I was in front of a pub window. It was the middle of the day but still had people in it. Thankfully, no one applauded, because British people prefer to smirk in silence. A kid did give me a thumbs-up, which was nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 93

Signing off

By Kerrie - 05/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I gave an online presentation to an important client. After I'd done my thing, I asked if there were any questions. No one responded, so I confidently ended the call… except I hadn’t ended it and they heard me mutter, “Thank fuck that’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 585

FOR SALE

By Only me - 07/04/2025 22:00 - France

Today, on the advice of a girl from sales, I sent a company-wide email with the subject line, "FOR SALE - 2010 Toyota Camry." I realized the social faux pas a minute later when my department head replied-to-all, "FOR SALE - half eaten sandwich." Now everyone thinks I’m a dumbass for confusing company emails for Craigslist, and for believing anyone who works in sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 543

The Jack Nicholson look

By jake - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally shaved part of my eyebrow. It now looks like I'm trying to raise one without moving the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 009

You deserved it 22 715

**** that dude

By Anonymous - 13/07/2022 10:00

Today, none of us had any idea that our grandfather was a huge racist until I brought my new girlfriend over to a family gathering, and he started yelling because she's Indian, some of the most disgusting racial slurs I’ve ever heard. We left when it looked like he might actually hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 340

You deserved it 149

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Awkward Work AITA Parenting Kids Love Money Family Miscellaneous Funerals Relatable Social Media Wanker NSFW Porn Intimacy Cute Alcohol Garden Sex Dating Frustration Health Parents Allergies Grandparents Abuse Technology Instagram

The Top

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 512

You deserved it 4 677

Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 098

You deserved it 8 490

Today, despite being innocent, I’m out $10,000 for bail, lawyers, and missed work. We haven’t even got a trial date yet, and if it goes to trial I’m out another $5000. Then I might have to go to jail. Oh and my employer just cut my pay and bonuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 173

Today, I learned the venue owner and producer for the musical I'm in is under criminal investigation. What for? Three separate sexual assault incidents and putting cameras in our dressing rooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 645

You deserved it 330

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 980

You deserved it 4 992

Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a 'free hugs' sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 117