Cute

Definitely memorable

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 831

You deserved it 55 097

Smol bean

By Smol Cat - 28/12/2022 12:00

Today, my cat is five years-old and still looks like a very chunky kitten. I'd been worried for the past three or four years that something was wrong with her, because she wasn't growing to a normal size. It turns out that's literally her natural size, and she's perfectly healthy. I was stressing over nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 950

Realistic

By thesitter - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see, but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 606

You deserved it 8 287

Unresolved issues

By Anonymous - 21/12/2022 15:00

Today, I wanted to spend some time with my daughter, since I work all the time and hardly ever get time off. She wanted to play Minecraft, so played it with her. Have you ever been killed over and over in a video game by an 8 year-old? I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 309

Freak out

By zAstonish - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 277

You deserved it 4 209

Orange tabbies rule!

By What did I get myself into - 05/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I got a new kitten. He's orange, and definitely fits the stereotypes. I've already had to stop him from killing himself or otherwise getting into dangerous areas four times. I can't leave him alone for more than five seconds. Please tell me this is not a sign of the times to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 312

Great housekeeping trap tip

By Gnome alone - 04/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my wife tried to prove that I don’t pay attention to anything related to the house by putting a decorative gnome on the table. When I mentioned it, she pointed out that she’d put over 25 gnomes all over the house for the past couple of weeks. I just noticed them today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 604

Dutch courage

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 831

You deserved it 5 031

Good one, mate

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 12:44 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 337

You deserved it 4 785

Quack quack quack!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2025 03:00 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, my son admitted that he worked out how to make a fuse in my house's fusebox blow, by turning on all the appliances and lights in the house at once. He's done it three days in a row because when the lights go out, I 'scream and act like Donald Duck, but with swearing' and it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 194

Wham!

By Omar Khalaf - 28/09/2017 01:30

Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 137

You deserved it 423

Good boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 16:00 - United States - Myrtle Beach

Today, I bought a fancy automatic ball launcher for my dog. When I demonstrated it, my dog watched the ball fly through the air, then charged at the launcher instead, thinking it was the toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 123

Memento

By you can't remember? - 24/04/2023 12:00

Today, I found a notebook labeled "IMPORTANT INFO" in my boyfriend's nightstand. Looking in, I saw he'd written down a bunch of information about me, like my birthday and things I like. When I asked, he said, "I'm forgetful and didn't want to accidentally be a dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 1 757

Irrational fears

By emelie000 - 29/07/2022 14:00

Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 211

The Voice

By Barney - 22/06/2025 22:00 - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, I was alone in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I started singing along to my favorite song when it came on my playlist. However, unbeknownst to me, my neighbors were having a barbecue next door, and they cheered and applauded when I'd finished. I’m never singing again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 182

Thanks buddy

By ChrisP - 04/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my hammerhead of a dog decided to "help" me clean by grabbing the vacuum cord and dragging it across the house, knocking over everything in its path. The house is somehow messier than before I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 103

I'm not your real mom

By Phillip - 24/10/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was talking to my boss when I let slip, "Love you, bye," at the end of a phone call out of habit. We both paused, and then he hung up without saying a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 198

Kids be shopping

By Anonymous - 09/06/2023 15:00

Today, all I heard in B&Q was my daughter laughing hysterically in the next aisle and sure enough, when I ran around, my husband was completely engrossed in some discount item on a shelf, completely ignoring our daughter who had opened a bottle of some sort of oil and painted her whole head in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 171

Overly polite in public

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was browsing the frozen section at the store when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. Thinking it was another customer, I said “Oh sorry, go ahead.” No one responded. I turned to see my own reflection in the freezer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 133

Stiff upper lip

By Anonymous - 21/01/2024 14:00 - United States - Collegeville

Today, I saw my brother for the first time since he needed to get half of his foot amputated. When I asked how he was adjusting, he proudly informed me that it hasn’t had any negative effects on his sex life. Not at all what I was referring to, but thanks for the info, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 157

A cute one for a change

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, I planned a romantic picnic date. I packed all my boyfriend’s favorite foods, set up a cozy blanket, and even brought flowers. The second we sat down, it started raining. We ate soggy sandwiches in my car while laughing at our “perfect date.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 131

Pregnancy woes

By Spraylady - 29/02/2016 21:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 352

You deserved it 1 789

Thanks, guys

By Kayla - 18/04/2022 16:00

Today, I’ve been dying my hair an auburn color for years. It looks so natural and get complimented often. Before I can even say thank you, my daughter or partner blurts out, “It's not real” or “It’s fake”. Everyone laughs and it’s a little less awkward, I guess… FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 239

Love is blind

By Blinded - 23/09/2022 02:30 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I finally figured out who my girlfriend reminds me of when she wears her glasses: the character Newman from Seinfeld. I can't unsee it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 190

Thank you for being there for me

By myboyfriendisweird - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 023

You deserved it 7 052

By Emily - 05/12/2012 17:55 - United States - Boston

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 729

You deserved it 4 350

Rick Astley did nothing wrong

By Rolling with Rick - 27/10/2022 10:00

Today, I was getting my hair dyed in a salon and suddenly 'Never Gonna Give You Up' started playing in the background. Rickrolling isn't common where I live, so I just took some heavy psychic damage while everyone remained blissfully unaware. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 809

Anger management

By Wife of a moron - 03/09/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I watched my husband attempt to make Cup Noodles. He used the Keurig to make hot water, instead of the kettle or microwave, then he burned himself trying to pour it, got angry, and smashed the mug and the noodles. I married this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 358

Manchild

By pixiebubz - 06/10/2011 03:59 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 946

You deserved it 29 441

Two speeds

By Anonymous - 13/09/2024 17:00 - United States - LaRue

Today, a waitress kept calling me "Mom" and my dad "Dad". My dad (69) and I (38f) hang out a lot, and very often go out to eat, just the two of us. Either I look really old, or people think he's got it going on. Why? They ask me, "Is that your dad or grandpa?" Then ask him, "Is that your wife or daughter?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 112

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Health Allergies Money Technology Instagram Animals Cute Kids Music Love Neighbours NSFW Intimacy Medication Family Miscellaneous Friends Confused Toxic Pranks Parents Sports Scams Religion Cheating Parenting Dating Work Painful

The Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 312

You deserved it 232

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 839

You deserved it 3 867

Today, I had to turn down a job offer that would have been perfect for me because post-Covid fatigue syndrome is kicking my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 262

Today, my 8-year-old son eagerly showed me a PowerPoint he made. It consisted of REALLY graphic and gory descriptions of a guy getting murdered, complete with pictures from the internet. He was laughing the whole time he was showing me this, and even set one of the images as his desktop background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 350

Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 722

You deserved it 4 765

Today, my Mom felt the need to walk around school and tell everyone to be nice to me because I just started my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 825

You deserved it 4 206