Awkward

Vyagrha

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 13:59

Today, I finally finished a drawing of a tiger. The only thing left to do is write the word "Tiger" in Sanskrit and glitter on the portrait, because I thought it would look cool. Only to find out, the Sanskrit word for tiger is "Viagra." No, I'm not kidding. This portrait took me numerous tries and several weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 391

It's love

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 01:01 - United States

Today, I realized my cat has a foot fetish. She keeps randomly flopping over on my feet while I'm walking, and will lick my toes if I am barefooted. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Even my other cat looks at her like she's gone insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 170

Get on with it!

By Crapped - 10/06/2021 20:01

Today, I shat myself, all because my little sister spent two hours trying to make a TikTok video in the one bathroom we have in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 149

Weird romance

By Mike - 10/06/2021 08:01

Today, my coworker and I have been sharing the same girlfriend for over a year. She doesn’t know that we each know about the other, but now it’s all over. She blocked both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 962

TMI FML

By Anonymous - 10/06/2021 06:01

Today, I had to take a photo of my asshole after I sat on a rusty nail, causing considerable pain. Thankfully, no major damage was done. Unfortunately, the photo synced up to my mum's iPad, since it's linked to my Apple ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 393

Faint praise

By Anonymous - 09/06/2021 12:02 - Romania - Iasi

Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 102

******* Stevie T

By Anonymous - 09/06/2021 08:01

Today, I was happy to take a break and do a guitar performance, but my teacher was the rudest ever. He had his guitar at the front row, playing while I was, and he played the song live with me just to confuse me, and ending up ruining the performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 128

Broken dreams

By Anonymous - 09/06/2021 02:01 - Luxembourg - Luxembourg

Today, I discovered the man I'm in love with, the only person I've found attractive in the past 8 years, has a girlfriend, and has done for almost a year. I feel physically sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 435

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 08/06/2021 10:59

Today, my husband seems to think sex once a month is adequate, and that it’s acceptable to nap on the sofa once he gets home from work, wake up for dinner, then go straight to bed. I also can’t speak to him while he’s eating, because he’s watching tv. I thought I had a husband, not a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 228

Gamers gonna gamer

By incels - 07/06/2021 02:01

Today, I put up my profile pic in Call of Duty: Mobile for the first time and got more than 50 friend requests and some very offensive messages from creepy guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 286

And I oop

By easygoing765 - 06/06/2021 11:01

Today, I found out the girl I hit on at the store I work at is my second cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 249

Almost there

By Anonymous - 05/06/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a better job offer out of the blue, more pay, less work. I informally accepted and handed my notice as legally required. They rescinded the job offer. I'm now unemployed at the end of hiring season. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 253

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 05/06/2021 08:00

Today, my mom walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. Later, police turned up because mom thought she was underage. I had to desperately prove to some very angry officers that I met my girlfriend at university, and she’s almost a year older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 408

You deserved it 194

Not a great start

By anon - 05/06/2021 02:01

Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 222

Pokémon Gone

By pogo Nono - 04/06/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, I found a guy I play Pokémon Go with on Facebook. We decided to meet up at a popular hunting spot so we could organize a trade. His wife showed up out of nowhere, causing a huge scene and threatening to kick my ass. I had my husband and kids with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 179

You all sound the same

By kaitlin - 04/06/2021 14:01

Today, I got my first job interview since the pandemic started, with Dollar Tree. The interview was going great, until I accidentally said ,"Dollar General." Safe to say I’m not getting that job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 227

Grossed out

By tiaox - 04/06/2021 11:01

Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 259

Hey stinky!

By kristinjanie10 - 04/06/2021 04:00

Today, my doctor informed me that my severe body odor has no cure, no treatments, and is caused by… eating food. Not any specific food, just food. So either I can stop eating entirely, or I can smell like rotting fish in an outhouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 115

Who's the loser?

By thomasthedankengine - 02/06/2021 15:59 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I was at a family friend's house for a gathering. I grabbed my food and started heading towards the patio. Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the patio, as there was a glass door in my way that I didn't see. My sophomore year crush saw everything, along with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 298

Showing

By Anonymous - 02/06/2021 14:01

Today, I recorded a 20-minute TED talk and told my students to watch it on the app in preparation for next terms projects. I got bombarded with messages from my students, telling me that because I was sat down on a chair while recording, certain camera angles could see straight up my skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 686

It's not you it's me

By mei - 02/06/2021 02:01

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out I’m a firstborn. My last boyfriend broke up with me because my hair blows in my face when the car window is down, and the one before that broke up with me because I only sleep with one pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 220

Sworn to secrecy

By TheEpicWario - 01/06/2021 14:02

Today, my mom confirmed my suspicions that my dad cheated on her. She then told me to hide my knowledge about it from my dad, and to keep my brother completely in the dark for now. Now I can't even look at my dad without reaching the brink of crying, and I'm somehow supposed to keep this under wraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 174

Road hog

By sin - 01/06/2021 04:01

Today, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t recognize a funeral procession when I see one. It just looks like a bunch of cars to me. I should probably get off the road for good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 355

Leave us alone

By SweethomeAlabama - 01/06/2021 01:00 - Turkey - Konya

Today, a customer asked me if I was my husband's sister. A little flabbergasted, I replied, "No, I'm his wife." He went on to say, "Ah! But surely, you're related? Cousins?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 193

Long drive home

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 04:01 - Australia - Kellyville

Today, at work, I shat myself at my desk thinking it was a fart. I had to waddle down to the parking garage and drive myself home. I’m a grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 413

Weird family

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 10:01 - United States - Bettendorf

Today, I found a picture on my phone of me and my best friend that I didn't take. Turns out my dad did, from behind, and it got onto my Google photo backup, which means that he was logged in to my Gmail from his phone when he did it. And my family wonders why I don't trust them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 129

Opposites attract

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 14:01

Today, and in the past few weeks, my new girlfriend revealed she doesn’t think COVID is real, the vaccine is a government tracking chip, thinks Scientology makes sense, global warming is a ruse, poor people are poor because they’re lazy… Oh and she always votes Conservative. Boy, can I pick em. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 607

Grab it while you can

By Arabian_Soap - 31/05/2021 16:01 - Australia - Mermaid Beach

Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 1 212

Everybody does

By Bill - 30/05/2021 23:59 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, I’ve been unemployed for 5 months. My last job was for government in Canada and I was harassed by management, and deemed a threat to the building. Why? Someone complained I cough. I’ve been coughing for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 113

How the…?

By Tiana - 30/05/2021 22:01

Today, I helped my best friend step out of the friendzone. As a result, I don't have a boyfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 206

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was driving to my company picnic with 85 lbs of meat in the back seat, and 1 gallon of homemade BBQ sauce and mustard in large pans riding shotgun. As I drove down a steep hill, the BBQ sauce pan slid forward, hit the glove box and exploded in my front seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 213

You deserved it 23 342

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 292

You deserved it 48 362

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 746

You deserved it 8 174

Today, my girl and I with got caught having sex in the car by cops. They thought we were smoking bongs because the windows were foggy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 863

Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected it. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 231

You deserved it 7 076

Today, at work, 5 minutes after I'd sent my help home, we got an 83 dollar order. I'm the only cook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 981

You deserved it 782