Work Today, while working as a security guard, I got locked into the... - FML

Canukistani - 29/03/2016 04:17 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, while working as a security guard, I got locked into the client's property. The client had told me to dummy-lock the gate. We don't have the keys, and its the first shift of the long weekend. FML

2

0

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said, "Avada kedavra!" She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

38 768

3 132

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

33 098

3 706

Today, I saw yet another dear friend from uni get married, living the good life in their new home. Here am I in my 30s, with no love life, and feeling like that's never going to be for me. FML

1 038

274

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

27 807

3 761

Today, after a long day at work, my legs were aching by the time I got home. Tired, I tried to go to bed early. Now the only thing preventing me from sleeping is the pain in my legs. It’s 4 a.m. now and no luck. FML

752

109

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

22 542

47 938