Miscellaneous Today, while inside of Harris Teeter, I was really happy so I... - FML

jwill200 - 11/03/2016 01:31 - United States - Andrews

Today, while inside of Harris Teeter, I was really happy so I started absentmindedly dancing while shopping. The police were called on me because people in the store thought I was on drugs. FML.

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my sister and I were trying to teach our kids how to Double Dutch. While giving a demonstration of how to jump in while the ropes were turning, my feet got jumbled. I ended up faceplanting in front of all the kids, who screamed in horror at my bloodied face and missing tooth. FML

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Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML

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Today, I realized I’m living with a complete moron. I moved in thinking it was gonna be smooth but nope. Dude thought it was okay to put mothballs INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE to help with roaches. Who the fuck does that? FML

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Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

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Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

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Today, I submitted my 208th job application in less than a year, and went to my 83rd and 84th interviews, only to be told once again that I'm over-qualified for the first, and under-qualified for the second. FML

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