Today the OBGYN told me to "do research" for a breast lump I...

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By OBGY-NO - 02/03/2017 02:26

Today the OBGYN told me to "do research" for a breast lump I found, because "lumps are normal" and that it "wasn't there last month". I just saw her last month and she reported "no bumps." FML

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vote type 1 16

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Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

agreeclassic 40 998

vote type 1 25 057

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

agreeclassic 25 527

vote type 1 5 120

Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

agreeclassic 33 940

vote type 1 3 577

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

agreeclassic 35 381

vote type 1 2 755

Today, like every other day, my mother, who I live with due to circumstances outside my control, harasses me every twenty minutes and generally treats me like her personal slave. When I dared complain, she had the audacity to tell me I’m lucky to “live a life of service.” Yeah, fuck you too. FML

agreeclassic 881

vote type 1 192

Today, I've finally accepted that my parents do not love me. They constantly do things that I hate, then casually remark to other people, "I think he's mad at me now." They also know my hearing is insanely hypersensitive, yet they're still obnoxiously loud for no apparent reason all the time. FML

agreeclassic 772

vote type 1 237