Today, I woke up with the flu, on the way to the emergency room...

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By Anonymous - 05/09/2017 22:18 - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu, on the way to the emergency room despite having several bags, I managed to projectile vomit all over my side of my fiancée's brand new car and all over my clothes. On top of that I'm now admitted in the hospital FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

agreeclassic 44 241

vote type 1 3 300

Today, my dad asked to borrow my glasses to look for his glasses. He then took them off because they were extremely tight on his head, and gave them back to me. Then he turned around and walked into a wall. I sure hope my eyes don't get that bad, although they probably will by the time I'm 40. FML

agreeclassic 715

vote type 1 152

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

agreeclassic 49 341

vote type 1 4 830

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML

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vote type 1 37 447

Today, I saw my roommate walk out of his room into the kitchen with a used condom in his hand, and plop it into the garbage disposal. "I don't really trust this girl" is all he said before he opened his door and walked back into his room. FML

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vote type 1 148

Today, I asked my mom if she'd seen my financial calculator on my way out to an exam. She told me she'd tossed it in the donation pile that she'd taken to the Salvation Army this morning because it was "clutter." I needed it to take an exam required to pass the class, to graduate next month. The only place to buy a replacement was closed. FML

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vote type 1 230