Today, I was giving my boyfriend head when I suddenly vomited.... - FML

Content almost refused by staff

By JanDay1028 - 24/01/2018 12:21 - South Africa

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head when I suddenly vomited. I caught most of it in my hands, but found the situation so funny, I laughed and ended up snorting some of the vomit while the rest landed on the carpet. He hasn't asked me to give him head since.. FML

agreeclassic 80

vote type 1 24

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

Previous FML Next FML

TOP COMMENTS

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

agreeclassic 41 595

vote type 1 6 281

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

agreeclassic 43 104

vote type 1 4 112

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

agreeclassic 36 076

vote type 1 3 734

Today, my boyfriend taught my son to do his chores. Not real chores, but "Runescape chores" on my boyfriend's account. My son won't pick up his toys or put his shoes away, but he'll jump on the computer to grow plants or cut trees or some other stupid shit. FML

agreeclassic 815

vote type 1 229

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

agreeclassic 11 366

vote type 1 32 151

Today, I pretended to be sleeping when my dad came to check on me. I’m not talking to him. Why? Because my mom died in January and he already has a girlfriend he says he wants to marry, she's going to be my step-mom. I’m 31. FML

agreeclassic 977

vote type 1 415