Health Today, I got called "fat-ass whale" while at the gym. FML. - FML

whale then - 01/03/2016 08:23 - United States - Bay Shore

Today, I got called "fat-ass whale" while at the gym. FML.

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

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Today, I met with an important client to talk about his stake in the company. The guy was at least 80 years old. After taking care of business, we spoke about my final year at the company. As he got up to leave he said, "Good luck in your final year." Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML

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Today, I've learned that when in a job interview at a Japanese company, the words, "Now we would like you to undertake a small Japanese test to check your Japanese level" actually means, "We would like you to gather all your hopes and dreams of you ever working for us, and let them die." FML

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Today, a few few friends, along with my long-time crush of mine came over to my house so we could finish a school project. As soon as he stepped into my house, he went pale, turned heel, and refused to step foot in my house. Why? Because the bison taxidermy above my fireplace scares him. FML

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Today, I have a hemorrhoid and a cold. Every time I cough or sneeze, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the anus. FML

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Today, I went drinking with my boyfriend and his sister in England. I'm from the US and they live here in the UK. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't get drunk and lock me out of the house, in a foreign country at 2 a.m., where my phone doesn't work. FML

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Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

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