Anonymous - 22/03/2016 23:19 - United States - San Francisco Today, I found a tick on my nipple. FML 1 0
Today, I was awoken by my grandparents making love, as they shook the camper in which my cousin and I were sleeping. FML 19 977 1 554
Today, I finally told my girlfriend of four months that I love her. Her response was, "Uh... thanks?" FML 39 695 8 862
Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML 29 039 9 110
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML 6 469 30 440
Today, I spent all day doing a project for myself and then for a friend who's sick. Turned out it was a prank everyone in the class was pulling on me. I missed a baseball game because of it. FML 19 596 2 081
Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML 28 724 8 414