Today, I brought in a note from my physiotherapist because my...

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By Wal-Hell - 09/03/2019 00:48

Today, I brought in a note from my physiotherapist because my shoulder was injured from work. I was supposed to have the weekend off to rest it. But if I don't work, I don't get paid. I'm a broke student. FML

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Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Today, I was walking through my local park when I noticed a guy getting down on one knee with a ring box in hand. As I got closer, he looked at me, got a horrified expression on his face, and shouted, “Oh no, wrong woman!” He then awkwardly stood up, put the ring back in his pocket, and scuttled away. That's probably the closest I'll ever get to a proposal. FML

agreeclassic 492

vote type 1 145

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

agreeclassic 44 350

vote type 1 9 587

Today, I worked a 12-hour shift. Today my parents' cat also had diarrhoea. Rather than clean it up when said cat projectile shat all through my bed, they simply closed my door and left it for me. Since it's in my room, apparently it's my problem. They can't understand why I'm pissed. FML

agreeclassic 3 379

vote type 1 343

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

agreeclassic 45 768

vote type 1 3 139

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

agreeclassic 38 113

vote type 1 3 308

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who looked like Ryan Gosling in his profile pictures. When I arrived at the restaurant, he was wearing a tank top, flip flops, and looked more like an actual Gosling, but not as cute. He then had the audacity to bail, stating I was skinnier than I was in my pictures. FML

agreeclassic 763

vote type 1 180