anotherschmuck - 12/02/2016 07:53 - United States - Lawrenceburg Today, at work I was asked if chickens have nipples. FML 1 0
Today, my son's laziness has now reached such a low that he now can’t be bothered to drink his pop from a glass, he just sets up the big pop bottle next to his bed and drinks it through a flexible, two metre long rubber tube. I’d be impressed at the ingenuity if I weren’t so mad at him. FML 398 186
Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML 46 018 5 105
Today, my ex-husband listed himself as “In a relationship” with the co-worker he constantly reassured me not to worry about on Facebook. The ink on our divorce paperwork hasn’t even dried yet. We had an amicable divorce because he “just wasn’t feeling it anymore.” Now I know why. I’m sick to my stomach. FML 618 119
Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML 13 000 29 223
Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML 40 466 6 160
Today, due to nepotism, I lost to a competitor. They rarely contributed to the competition and were literally distracted all the way through. Their quality was pretty low as well, but they were friends with the judge. FML 739 99